I’ve always believed (much like the theories of the conservation of mass and energy) that there is an unchanging amount of happiness in the world. And, on the other side of that coin, there is suffering. When one person is happy, someone else is going through a hard time, and vice versa. Over time, this belief has gotten me through many rough illnesses and losses. It’s hard to believe that you are suffering alone, but if your suffering is to make someone else happy, the pain doesn’t feel as bad.
I’ve always believed in the idea that we are never given more than we can handle. Not necessarily because there is a higher power delegating pain based on threshold (although if that is your belief, I respect it), but mostly because I think that we, as a species, can handle so much. We can choose to take a deep breath and face a situation with logic and faith. We can overcome anything.
I’ve always believed that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Whenever I was stressing over a school assignment or feeling under the weather, thinking about the times in the past where I was relaxed or healthy only made me more miserable. Instead, I’ve always found it helpful to think about the time in the future, the afternoon after a test or a few days into recovery from illness, when I would be back to being myself.
But the hardest thing about suffering is realizing that you’re not alone in it. It’s easy to look around and resent the people that don’t seem to have hardships as bad as yours in their lives. However, it’s harder to recognize the possibility that they do have hidden obstacles that they struggle with every day. Never see this as a competition. Just because you think your problems seem worse doesn’t mean others aren’t deserving of empathy or help. Instead, try to use the hardships of others as encouragement. Sure, you may be suffering so someone else can be happy, but you’re not the only person going through something negative in their life. Be inspired. If someone else can get through their situation, you can get through yours too. And be positive. Because your turn for happiness will come soon enough.
When you’re suffering, you become a part of the population that is fighting for their place on this Earth. You become a student that is studying hard to do well in school. You become a patient that is fighting an illness or struggling through a recovery. You become a brother, sister, husband, or wife in mourning. And each of those groups is comprised of millions or billions of people that are going through similar hardships. This is what it means to be human and what it means to be alive. Being here isn’t just about enjoying the good times, it’s about building strength from the bad times as well.