Unicorns… More Like Unicorny: Why This New Obsession Needs To Stop

Unicorns… More Like Unicorny: Why This New Obsession Needs To Stop

Why are we trying to bring back something that gave us Charlie the Unicorn in 2005?
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Why are we trying to bring back something that gave us Charlie the Unicorn in 2005? There are a lot of things that should be left in the early 2000s, and this is definitely one of them. I understand this makes me seem irrationally angry, but I just don't understand this new trend. Every day on Facebook I see things unicorn related: unicorn cocktails, unicorn cakes, unicorn makeup pallets, unicorn make-up brushes. Where did this trend come from? I just want to know so I can find the source and make sure it disappears for good.

My irritation with the unicorn trend hit its peak when I opened up an email from Tarte telling me that if I bought anything, they would send me a free unicorn headband. Tarte is a pretty expensive makeup line, so why are they advertising unicorn headbands to adults? I was hoping I lived in a world where unicorn headbands weren’t so in that they motivated people to buy things. Sadly, it’s the world we live in because it’s so "in" right now to be a ~unicorn~.

I thought we had left the mythical creatures behind with the mermaid craze, but somehow a new one just sprouted up out of nowhere. I just don't understand what the obsession is with things you had as dolls and played with as a child. I mean, it’s literally taking the world and grabbing it by the horns.

Everyone seems to be hopping on the unicorn train. Recently, a YouTuber by the name of Zoella, even shared one of her recent purchases which was a pink, sparkly unicorn cup with the phrase “Sparkle Like A Unicorn” on it. I’m sorry, but there are just so many things that are wrong with that. The first one being: how the h*ll are you supposed to sparkle like a unicorn? The answer is: you can’t — because that would literally be impossible. Second of all, this YouTuber is a 27-year-old adult. I just don't understand why someone like that would need that kind of daily motivation while they're sipping on their drink. I mean, come on, I thought we left cheesy things like this back in elementary school.

I get it; live your life the way you want, but if you really need something inspirational, find it in something real. As much as you might want them to, unicorns aren’t about to appear out of nowhere, so do yourself a favor, and find something else to obsess over.

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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Your Personality as Told by Your Butt Shape

Tastefully Designed for Both Women and Men
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Everyone's butt is both unique and special — however — each contains a lot more personality than you've ever expected (apply winky-face here). Whether you have been embracing or overlooking this new booty crazed epidemic, it has always been about that gluteus maximus.

Finally, there is an article that can explain to you how your voluptuous base says more about your personality than you ever led on.


Inverted “V"

We begin with the "V" shape, which is fuller at the hips and top of the butt, then slowly narrows in shape. The contrast between the small waist and the larger butt, gives the appearance of the "V".


Women: You'll find this kind of girl usually wearing Lily Pulitzer and always dressed to the 'T' — whether she's strolling to class or hitting up the bars. She's very conscientious of nearly every aspect of her life, giving off the impression that she's kind of a control freak.

This girl is always trying to be healthy, forever attempting weird juice cleanses, but is never able to attain that health nut look she craves for. Due to her OCD and sharp determination, she is typically the top of her class; she wouldn't dare to miss a deadline.

This girl is on the fast track, appears to all refined and put together. Although her booty may not look as good as she may wish, she always has something interesting, or better yet, eye catching to say.

Men: Also a Type A personality, this man is sharp and resolute. He is your "average Joe" kind of guy, always getting lost in the crowd but is never bothered by it. Due to his unassuming nature, if you do get to know this man, he will oftentimes surprise you with unexpected flatteries to his personality.

This guy will probably have some type of biology or chemistry major, aspiring to be a doctor, and don't worry; he'll get there. But when he's not dutifully studying, he'll be investing his time in the arts as your run of the mill intellectual. He doesn't really like to go to the gym often, and if he does, he never commits to leg day. Nevertheless, he's a sweet, deep, intelligent, brooder who will shine a new shade of color to your life.


Squared Out

Then we have the Square, where the booty is equal in size from the waist to the hips and flat on both sides. This creates a sort of flat appearance, or in essence the picture of a square. Typically, these butts are found in more muscular individuals,

Women: This girl is always wearing gym clothes, and definitely fast-tracking it somewhere. She's very focused and success-driven, both in the classroom and at the gym. She is the ultimate health nut, which means at her worst drunken munchies, she'll perhaps indulge herself into some pretzels and peanut butter.

She's a creature of habit, only grocery shops at Trader Joe's, and always buys the exact same groceries on her list. She also ALWAYS has a list. This girl religiously goes to the gym and has those abs that every girl would burn her Chanel wallets for.

But even with this athletic body, this girl is often times quiet and reserved. She doesn't go out of her way to know a lot of people and is typically more content with watching episodes of Girls at home with her Luna bars than going out on a night on the town.

Men: This guy is also a health nut, armed in over flowing amounts of gym clothes, drinking weird juice cleanses and sporting off toned chicken legs. He's your typical gym rat, but unlike you and I, he likes to get the grind going habitually at 7 a.m.

He's your average pretty boy, forever taking very good care of himself, and trust me, his body is accurately representative of that. If he lives near a beach, he's going to be that surfer dude, shredding the gnarr on the daily.

He probably owns a dog, complementing his unassuming, sensitive and caring personality. His major is probably Psychology or something within the Liberal Arts College. Naturally, women will gravitate to this guy, providing him with a lot of females as companions. But whether or not these are intimate relationships or not will perpetually be unclear.


Round Butt

Let's jump off into the Round butt or the Bubble butt, which is almost even all around and round in appearance as well. Is resembles a globe and usually complements a slender/ slim body.

Women: She has the booty everyone on @squatspo has: round, perky and well manifested through vigorous amounts of weights and squats. She may not always dress for the gym, but you will always see her wearing pants that accentuate her posterior, modeling booty shorts or jeans.

Because she was able to work hard and amass such an esteemed butt, this girl is very goal- oriented and determined. She has a lot of friends through her loquacious and amiable personality, but after a while, she appears quite insipid. Perhaps it is because she focuses more on cultivating her body more than her mind.

Nevertheless, she's a free spirited, airy, social media crazed, 'girl next door', who's always positive. She's probably a PR or Telecommunications major, or somewhere in the Journalism College. She spends most of her time with friends, night or day, and never misses a party or event. She's always up to date on the latest fashion trends, her room filled with every issue of Cosmo and UsWeekly. But at the end of the day, you realize magazines are the only literature she knows.

Men: This guy is your run of the mill jock or meathead whose primary sources of nourishment are pre-workout, beer and Chipotle. Let's be honest here, this guy is probably in a fraternity, which means that he's a guy's guy. He's always at the gym at the faciest time of the day, and only dwells in the weight room — what is cardio anyways?

He is great at networking, sociable, has very close friendships, and a fantastically charming schmoozer. That being said, he is probably a Business, Finance of Management major. This guy can't help but be ostensible, due to his over-bearing ego, but hopefully, one day will find the will to humble himself.

He too enjoys hitting the bars frequently and will put much effort into strategizing his academics around his social life. This guy will never disappoint you in showing you a great time and is always up beat in finding enjoyment in his everyday life.


Heart Shaped

Lastly, we have the Heart Shape. This kind of butt has a smaller top and flared large bottom at the top of the thighs. Sometimes referred to as the Oval Shape, because of the relation between a smaller waist and bigger hips.

Women: When working hard at it, she can achieve the ideal hourglass shape that every girl pines for. This woman has the epitome of a perfect butt, sexy, voluptuous, and certainly a handful-and this girl knows it.

Because she knows she naturally has a sexy booty, she comes across as a little pretentious, snooty, and, well, just a bitch. This attitude is probably the reason why she doesn't have a whole lot of friends, but just enough so that she's still socially acceptable.

On the bright side, confidence is never really her problem, which means that she's the kind of girl to be bold in both her outfits and dispositions when hitting up the bars. She has high standards for every aspect of her life, probably because she gets whatever she wants, and if not — you don't want to stick around.

This girl most likely doesn't work hard in getting what she wants because she's used to having everything handed to her already — including the natural shape of her butt. She is probably an Art History major or something else equally unexpected. She is not really the most athletic type and often times is obnoxiously aloof towards sporting events. She will often times act as the nonconformist for the sake of adversity, but will surprisingly add enlightening insight to the subject at hand.

Men: He is the All-American golden boy, proficient and excels in every facet of his life. He is extremely ambitious and never satisfied with any of the fruits from his labors — #1 just doesn't seem to be high enough. He is always moving from one conquest to another, and appears tense and high strung at times. Nonetheless, he is an extrovert with a great sense of humor, surrounded by a lot of guy friends.

But you never see him with many girls — despite his Adonis — like physique. Sadly, our Golden Boy is a slight misogynist, because no girls seem to reach the staggering height of that pedestal, and he himself can't seem to either. Despite his inner turmoil, which he hides seemingly well, this guy is the man every girl desires and every guy wants to be.

Cover Image Credit: Power Boat Nation

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Michigan’s Race For Governor: The Debates

With only a few weeks away from midterms, it's time to get serious.

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In October, Michigan will see two televised gubernatorial debates. The first will be hosted in Grand Rapids, and take place on October 12, 2018 at 7 p.m. The second will be hosted in Detroit, and take place on October 24, 2018 at 8 p.m.

As the victors of their respective parties in the August primaries, Bill Schuette and Gretchen Whitmer will meet to debate critical issues, such as infrastructure, immigration, environmental concerns in the Great Lakes, and where the candidates stand on the controversial topic of recreational marijuana use and legalization.

For the voters looking to get a better understanding of each candidate's positions, both Schuette and Whitmer participated in primary debates that were broadcast leading up to the primaries. These debates are still accessible to the public on YouTube.

On May 9, the Attorney General toted his endorsement from President Trump, using it to land credit with a growing base within Michigan's Republican Party. Schuette swept the Republican primary with apparent ease in August, defeating Lieutenant Governor Brian Calley by a 2 to 1 margin.

At the Democratic gubernatorial debate on June 20, former Senator Gretchen Whitmer presented herself as a well-rehearsed candidate. She stressed the importance of rebuilding Michigan's roads, among other issues.

She went on to defeat Shri Thanedar—an entrepreneur, and Abdul El-Sayed—a former director of the Detroit Health Department, and favorite among the progressive wing of Michigan's Democratic Party.

Schuette and Whitmer shared the stage together briefly at the 2018 Mackinac Policy Conference, during the gubernatorial debate portion of the Detroit Regional Chamber 2018 PAC Reception.

Both the Attorney General and former Senator acknowledged other candidates within their parties, but used their speaking time to begin the age-old practice of political mud-slinging. It was clear that both were aware of each other's inevitable place as opponent for governor in November.

The Republican nominee accused his adversary across the aisle of planning to raise taxes and increase regulations across the board. In turn, former Senator Whitmer accused Schuette of claiming that children do not have a constitutional right to literacy.

It remains to be seen whether either candidate will be able to appeal to voters across party lines.

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