Weight. It is a word that is made up of letters but represented by numbers. In today’s world, everyone is obsessed with this certain image of being a “perfect” size. There is no such thing as perfect.
However, I too, am guilty of trying to look like that girl with not one ounce of fat on her body.
I started college back in the fall, so one thing I repetitively heard before I arrived was “...don’t gain the freshman fifteen.” As my first official school break was soonly approaching, I wanted to make sure instead of gaining weight, I would lose weight. Now, my relatives and friends can see a physical change in me and congratulate me on eating healthy in college, I thought to myself.
“Healthy” is the farthest word I would use to describe how I lost weight.
Before I knew it, my days consisted of hardcore workouts on empty stomachs. I would skip lunch in order to have time to hit the gym between classes. I thought I was playing “smart” by eating carrots and celery as my “lunch” so my friends wouldn’t catch on. The only person I was playing was myself.
My friends knew I went hours of the day without eating, they soon confronted me about it. One day, we came to a sudden stop when we were walking through the city. I am not kidding you when I say it was an intervention. I became defensive, told them, “I eat, but I also like to workout. Is that such a crime?”
Picture this. Thanksgiving break is coming up and you don’t want to put on weight, so you push yourself past your limit. Treadmill set to 9 out of 10 on the incline at 6 miles per hour, and at the end of the hour, it is set to 6.5mph or even 7mph to get that last sprint in. Yes, one hour. I was running like this for 60 minutes every day. My whole body aching, especially my knees, but I ignored the pain and thought to myself pain is beauty.
After a week, my knees became black and blue, I was limping to class, and I couldn’t can’t even walk up or down the stairs.
At first, I ignored the signs telling me my body needed rest. I kept going to the gym every day, consuming very little food. I had to start wearing a knee brace and my body physically restricted me from working out. I wanted to lose weight, but I didn’t want to mess up my knees to the point where I would tear something and need surgery.
My workout routine became much less, but at this time I should have fully stopped. Months passed by and if one knee was not hurting, it would be the other and vice versa. Finally, I went to the doctor and he told me I was not allowed to workout for months, and when I started again, I had to take it easy. You can imagine all the thoughts racing through my head.
After all that hard work, I have to come to a halt.
But of course, I did not listen to what the doctor had to say and ran on the treadmill, but not on an incline. The next day, my knees were in pain once again. This was a wake-up call for me. Before my knees became severely damaged, I had to give them a chance to recover.
Yes, I did lose weight, but it was not the correct way to do it.
The time passed by and I was able to workout again. I took it easy and started eating healthy. When I say healthy, I mean I ate meals again, and not eight carrots and celery sticks.
That girl with not one ounce of fat on her body probably is doing something similar to what I have done, and I came to the realization it is not worth it.
Staying fit is not the same thing as staying skinny, and being fit is better for your well-being. Too much pressure is put on this word: weight, which is expressed by numbers. WE ARE NOT NUMBERS.