Overtime, we as human beings need to understand that we are not always going to be perfect with everything. We are not always going to be on our most perfect behavior. Have you ever done something that absolutely disgusts you that you're too embarrassed to share it with anyone especially your loved ones? I definitely know that I have. I have done certain things that I am not the most proud of. But eventually I've come to a realization that eventually I would need to forgive myself for the irresponsible actions that I took. They've hurt me to a point where I have felt sad and hurt. Once there was a time where I was so disappointed in myself that I would ask myself the question 'Why would I do something like that?!' I'm better than the person that I was when I made those horrible actions. However, I know that for a fact I am not the only one out there that feels this way.
As some of us are coming into more and more steps into adulthood, we're realizing more than what we have ever thought before. Never in a million years did I ever think that I would be making sacrifices that I never wanted to make. Sometime's it is for the best reason and the best reason only. At the time certain people did not understand why I made the sacrifices that I made, but that is because they are not at a point in their life where they have had to make tough decisions like that. Recently I had to miss my department graduation ceremony because of a job opportunity that I could not pass up. It was either go to my department ceremony or miss my job training just to start all the way in a later time in the summer. It was a decision that I was not happy about, but eventually I realized that the decision that I made was one of many sacrifices that I had to make in order to keep my job. Not to mention that after months of struggling, I knew that I was not going to struggle long enough. I've had to learn that certain people are not meant to stick around for a certain reason.
One day you can be so close to someone that you never have thoughts of them being a past memory in your life. Eventually you realize that maybe they left for a good reason. Certain people are not meant to stick around just because. You may not understand it now, but eventually all the pieces will come together. All I can say is that I am who I am. I love how much my family has been there for me. With that said, my friends will always come second. Putting them first is one mistake that I will never make again. My family has been there for me in the worst of times when certain 'friends' were not. At the end of the day, they are my first priority before anyone else. They were also the one's to remind me that not everything is always going to work out my way all the time.
To be honest the more and more I keep reminding myself to not be so hard on myself, the better the situation may turn out to be. Just because you're in a sticky situation doesn't mean that it's meant to last forever. Continue to strive for excellence and keep going. Certain people just aren't meant to stick around. Just keep in mind, it happened for the better not the worse.