Being in your early 20s, and even just being in college, I feel like we’re being constantly reminded to “find ourselves” and to “experience things.” If you know me, you know that I am always down to try anything and everything, but I am an even bigger advocate for just getting to know yourself. I believe the healthiest thing we can do is truly understand our own personal wants, likes, and needs.

Lately, I have found that the five languages of love play a large role in how I conduct all my relationships, whether it’s dating or just building friendships. How I express my affection and how I perceive others affection determines the dynamic of that relationship. If you don’t know the five love languages, that’s OK! There are lots of books and online quizzes on the subject that are quite informing. Here are my brief examples of what they are for those of you who don’t want to do the research:

1. Words of affirmation.

Actions don’t always mean more to you than words. Compliments and hearing the words “I love you” will never get old. Giving and receiving kind, generous words build up your spirits and insults can tear you down.

2. Acts of service.

Easing the burden of responsibilities on those you care about is how you show affection, laziness and broken commitment weigh heavily on your conscience. There is nothing you love saying/hearing more than “let me do that for you.”

3. Receiving gifts.

Unlike materialism, this love language thrives on the thoughtfulness and effort put into the gift. Gifts are heartfelt gestures that show how much you mean to those around you.

4. Quality time.

Full, undivided attention, sharing hobbies and/or just sharing time with someone you care about, even if you are doing nothing you are happy to be doing it with them.

5. Physical touch.

Any and all kinds of touching; they can express everything from love, excitement, caring or concern through the smallest of touches. Rejecting this kind of affection, even a high-five, can be devastating for them.

Out of the five languages, my strongest outlet is quality time: strong, undivided attention and just physical closeness with people I care about is a huge part of how I conduct my relationships. Whether it be sharing a hobby or even sparing a moment during our busiest days, it lets me know how much I really mean to someone.

Being a really touchy-feely person and voted “most flirtatious” in my high school, it is no surprise that my secondary languages of love are physical touch and words of affirmation. Combined with my outgoing personality, I can see where people get the flirtatious-ness. Other people may get annoyed by my constant disregard for personal boundaries. (Shout out to my mom who always got mad when I touched her face, albeit a reasonable request). This is how I express myself -- and for those who hold their personal space sacred and hate compliments, we would not get along. That is totally OK, not everyone is compatible and being OK with this thought is another trait I have worked on while growing up. Everyone is different, and I am in no way “grown up,” but I am happy where my life is and I have become more understanding with building relationships with my friends and being OK when other relationships do not work out.

What's your love language?