Before indulging in this poem I just want to remind you that if you ever feel this way or you can relate a little too much to the things I say, please seek help and don't be afraid. I write this poem so people can be aware of you. For some of out there, these words are meaningless and don't hold true. For others, they are what we fight against and what we are going through. So once again, if this is you please seek help. If this is a friend you know, please seek help. If you don't want to talk to someone who can't relate to you then talk to me. Whatever the situation may just know you are not alone. You Are Never Alone.
For any University of Maryland students seeking help for you or a friend please schedule an initial appointment, also called an intake appointment call (301) 314-7651 or stop by the Counseling Center reception desk on the main level of Shoemaker Building.
For anyone else out there seeking help or help for a friend please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline-1800-273-8255.
They say we can't run from our problems so Is death the key? Answer me this, why do I feel so imprisoned in the land of the free?
Why aren't I brave in the home of the brave? Why am I still a slave when there are no more slaves?
Suicide is for the weak minded is what I use to say. But now my mind is weak every day. Will I ever be saved?
My eyes are open, but it's dark all around. The walls I've been imprisoned by feel as if they will never fall down.
I look up to the heavens, but I see just a sky. I bow my head and pretend to close my eyes. To God I pray if he even hears.
His answers to me are never clear. Water run from my eyes, just worthless tears. I scream I need someone to save, me but there's no one nears.
The path I lead, I hope for success. I strive and I grieve, for this life is a mess. Fear not I am told, for child you are blessed.
I still put the gun to my head while holding my breath. Do I dare pull the trigger and stop the dark thoughts? If I point it at my fellow man would it still be considered my fault?
My mind is poisoned, no human should live this way. On this earth, I feel like a cancer that won't go away. I am mentally unstable or "intellectually disabled" according to the APA. But it's because of my intellect, that I act this way.
I rely on narcotics to make the pain go away. I am not an addict, but without them I can't go a day. The pain is not physical, but mentally it drives me insane.
Like a human’s flesh engulfed by a scorching flame. I feel the burn, but I am not hot. Rage, rage, rage be one to not. A beam of light piercing, but the light isn't something to view.
Unlike the everlasting pain, it is something of new. I hope it can shine light upon me and overcome the evils I will do.
It feels so soothing like the way the ocean moves. The beam of light is love that is ever so true. For I am just flesh so an Angel you must be. God saw my darkness and planted you in front of me.
You defeated my demons, my entire fleet. Your hands cresses my skin, now I can hardly breathe. Effortlessly you bring me to my knees and bring out the best side of me.
Now I know my life must go on for sure just so that we can be. My dearest Angel I thank God for bringing you to me.
My prison, this body of mine is no longer needed, an empty vessel it shall be. You have set my soul free. In my darkness, you still glowed.
You stepped in my drought and it became a steady flow. You loved my mind, even the side that no one knows.
The dark side you embraced and your light you showed. How can I wreak havoc with such a peaceful soul? I thank you for keeping me under control.
Resources that are available to those of you who feel this way:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline-1800-273-8255