21 Lessons I Learned By 21 That Are Worth Sharing

21 Lessons I Learned By 21 That Are Worth Sharing

We are three years into adulthood, we are legal to consume alcoholic beverages, and we don’t really have it all figured out yet.
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Some of us 21-year-olds are getting engaged and starting families, some of us are in college or finishing cosmetology school, some of us are working away and joining unions, but there are three things we have in: we are three years into adulthood, we are legal to consume alcoholic beverages, and we don’t really have it all figured out yet.

However, I’ve journaled down thoughts that I’ve learned over the years and I think they may serve as nice reminders for you all. So here are the 21 things I’ve learned by 21:

1. You’re young — know the difference between being selfish and valuing yourself.

It’s OK to put yourself first, your future depends on it.

2. When you’re upset, mad, or frustrated with someone, don’t start texting them a million things that you’ll later regret.

Take a breather, and call them and meet up with them later. Texting solves absolutely nothing.

3. Forgiving yourself and forgiving others is not an easy task, but it’ll set you free and allow you to move forward with your life.

4. Quality over quantity, especially when it comes to friends; valuing close, genuine friends is so much more important than being surrounded by the masses.

5. Your greatest power is being you, embrace that with everything you have.

6. No matter how old you get, you have to follow the golden rule: treat others how you want to be treated because being kind and loving doesn’t cost you a thing.

7. Make decisions that excite you, don’t make decisions based on what someone else wants you to do.

You’ll end up going in circles.

8. When you put in the extra mile, it always pays off.

The effort will serve as guidance for what the next move should be for you.

9. There are spiteful people in this world that are venomous with their words, but those people don’t deserve a place in your universe.

10. Although there are hurtful people out there, there are also absolutely incredible ones who bring so much light and love into your life.

11. With that being said, you never regret telling people you love them, value them, and appreciate their existence.

Whenever you get the chance to engulf others in your admiration, do it.

12. Enjoying your own company better be on your to-do list.

People come and go, but you’re a constant and when the day turns into night, your mind must be kind to you.

13. You don’t have to be who you’ve always been.

There is room for change and growth and realizations to become who you are meant to be.

14. You aren’t going to be liked by everyone, you’ll be too much for some and not enough for others.

That discernment has nothing to do with you, and entirely to do with the person making those judgements.

15. You DO NOT need a significant other to be whole.

You DO NOT need a boyfriend. You DO NOT need someone to tell you you’re pretty, valued, and worthy; you should know you’re all those things without relying on those words of truths from someone else. You are complete, whole, and enough on your own.

16. Taking the opportunity that fuels your curiosity and excitement is one well taken.

Whether that’s moving, taking an internship, exploring a new country, you will find out new things about yourself along the way.

17. Holding onto rage and anger hurts you more than anyone else.

Let that baggage go and know you don’t have to be bitter.

18. Your circumstances do not and will not define you.

You aren't a statistic, you are a person and you can beat the odds.

19. Sex can wait, but it doesn’t have to; whatever you prefer is right.

Whether you’re in love or looking for a fun time, you must remember to be kind to your body and soul and make sure to value yourself and your sexuality. You don’t have to give yourself away to anyone who asks.

20. Let life take you where it wants you to go, you’ll end up exactly where you’re meant to be.

21. As cliche as it sounds, really, don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

You are an important and have a valuable mind that is unique, so know you have the ability to stand out and achieve all your wildest dreams. You will fail, oh you will fail plenty, but you just have to keep getting back up and try again.

So if you take anything away from my lengthy list, it’s that you are important, loved, and valued, and you should live your life with your urgency and drive.

Cover Image Credit: Ashley DeBoer

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To The Girl Who Had A Plan

A letter to the girl whose life is not going according to her plan.
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“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” - William Ernest Henley

Since we were little girls we have been asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We responded with astronauts, teachers, presidents, nurses, etc. Then we start growing up, and our plans change.

In middle school, our plans were molded based on our friends and whatever was cool at the time. Eventually, we went to high school and this question became serious, along with some others: “What are your plans for college?” “What are you going to major in?” “When do you think you’ll get married?” “Are you going to stay friends with your friends?” We are bombarded with these questions we are supposed to have answers to, so we start making plans.

Plans, like going to college with our best friends and getting a degree we’ve been dreaming about. Plans, to get married as soon as we can. We make plans for how to lose weight and get healthy. We make plans for our weddings and children.

SEE ALSO: 19 Pieces Of Advice From A Soon-To-Be 20-Year-Old

We fill our Pinterest boards with these dreams and hopes that we have, which are really great things to do, but what happens when you don’t get into that college? What happens when your best friend chooses to go somewhere else? Or, what if you don’t get the scholarship you need or the awards you thought you deserved. Maybe, the guy you thought you would marry breaks your heart. You might gain a few pounds instead of losing them. Your parents get divorced. Someone you love gets cancer. You don’t get the grades you need. You don’t make that collegiate sports team. The sorority you’re a legacy to, drops you. You didn’t get the job or internship you applied for. What happens to you when this plan doesn’t go your way?

I’ve been there.

The answer for that is “I have this hope that is an anchor for my soul.” Soon we all realize we are not the captain of our fate. We don’t have everything under control nor will we ever have control of every situation in our lives. But, there is someone who is working all things together for the good of those who love him, who has a plan and a purpose for the lives of his children. His name is Jesus. When life takes a turn you aren’t expecting, those are the times you have to cling to Him the tightest, trusting that His plan is what is best. That is easier said than done, but keep pursuing Him. I have found in my life that His plans were always better than mine, and slowly He’s revealing that to me.

The end of your plan isn’t the end of your life. There is more out there. You may not be the captain of your fate, but you can be the master of your soul. You can choose to be happy despite your circumstances. You can change directions at any point and go a different way. You can take the bad and make something beautiful out of it, if you allow God to work in your heart.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Patiently Waiting With An Impatient Heart

So, make the best of that school you did get in to. Own it. Make new friends- you may find they are better than the old ones. Apply for more scholarships, or get a job. Move on from the guy that broke your heart; he does not deserve you. God has a guy lined up for you who will love you completely. Spend all the time you can with the loved one with cancer. Pray, pray hard for healing. Study more. Apply for more jobs, or try to spend your summer serving others instead. Join a different club or get involved in other organizations on campus. Find your delight first in God and then pursue other activities that make you happy; He will give you the desires of your heart.

My friend, it is going to be OK.

Cover Image Credit: Megan Beavers Photography

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20 Ways To Destress This Semester

Do not let the stress get you down.

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Feeling the stress of the school year already? Here are a few ways you can destress.

1. Breathe

2. Chew gum

3. Clean

4. Craft

5. Dance

6. Doodle

7. Exercise

8. Hug a tree

9. Listen to music

10. Nap

11. Netflix

12. Pets

13. Read

14. Say no

15. Smile

16. Socialize

17. Spend time outside

18. Stretch

19. Treat yourself

20. Write

Whatever you can do to momentarily take your mind off of everything else.

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