I've been disappoint a lot. I've been disappointed by people who I thought were my friends and who I thought understood the hurt and pain of being used but yet they used my kindness. These were seemingly good people, and had good intentions for the start. But if they weren't interested in my friendship anymore then they should have had the decency to step back and tell me truth. Instead they decided to use my friendship for their own selfish gain. I like to believe that people are good. I try to treat everyone with the same respect that I would want. It's a smack in the face when others don't have the same consideration or kindness for others.
I've also been disappointed when I didn't achieve a goal I worked hard for or if it takes longer for me to achieve goal than I expected. My goal has been to earn at least one 4.0 at Wells. This past semester is the closest I have ever come with a 3.8. While that is a really good grade, it's difficult to accept when I try my hardest and yet semester after semester I have't achieved my goal yet. I was disappointed.
Then, I found out I failed three out of nine sections of my third degree black belt test. That means I would have to do the whole test over again in April. After I went to karate everyday over the summer, practiced at Wells and came home once a month to practice at the studio. I was more than disappointed. I was distraught. I felt like all the practice time, the hard work I put into trying to prepare for the test was for nothing. I wanted to to curl up and cry. I considered not taking the test again. After all, if I failed once, who says I wouldn't fail again?
You see, just like grief, disappointment is experienced in stages. I was in the first stage-- sadness. Then I quickly moved onto the second stage-- anger. I was angry at myself and at the situation. I needed a reason as to why this happened. I needed something or someone to blame. So I blamed myself and I was mad at life. That whole week it seemed that anything that could go wrong, was going wrong. Then there was a small hope that I might be able to retest on the sections I failed in January instead doing the whole test again in April. I think that hope propelled me to the third stage-- denial. Maybe I could retest. Maybe I didn't have to do the whole test again. So I worked hard. Really hard. But as it got closer to the retest and I still wasn't sure if I could retest I started to move to the forth stage-- acceptance. I was going to have to retest in April. But instead of being sad again I decided to take this as a learning opportunity. A chance to make me stronger. And now I'm on the fifth stage-- moving forward. I will train even harder. Practice even more. And I will pass the test with flying colors.
Dealing with disappoint isn't easy. And dealing with it multiple times doesn't make it any easier. My biggest advice is to not give up. The choices we make when we are facing our hardest challenges are the most important choices we will ever make. Also, try not to search for someone or something to blame. Nothing caused this to happen. Sometimes things just happen that we can't control. Of course it's totally natural to go through the stages of disappointment, but just know that what ever happens, you will get through this rough patch and you will succeed. It might just take longer than you expected, but in the end, it will make you stronger. And there's nothing wrong with taking a little longer than you had anticipated to achieve a goal.