Truth Be Told: I Have No Idea What I Am Doing

Truth Be Told: I Have No Idea What I Am Doing

But I know I'm not alone.

Truth Be Told: I Have No Idea What I Am Doing

To be honest with you, I have no clue what I am doing. Sure, I have a job, classes are scheduled for the fall, I have landed an internship for the summer, and plan on graduating early. But that does not mean that I have my life together more than the next person. Because the thing is, I am worrying about where I am going to live after graduation, where I will apply for jobs, if I will be able to afford an apartment, and how I will pay off the debt that I have racked up the last few years.

I am no different than the girl I was in high school that was randomly applying for colleges, crossing my fingers and silently praying that I would get accepted. It was not luck on my side, of course, it was all the handwork that I had placed into papers, studying for tests, and extracurricular activities that helped me land acceptance letters. But even then I had randomly chosen a major based on the fact that it sounded good to me. Luckily, it worked out for me, as I know that is not the case for everyone.

To continue on the honesty train I will tell you that I spent my day binge watching "Bob's Burgers" on Netflix and my lunch consisted of cheese fries and candy. Procrastination is a term that I am too fond of and I am waiting for the day that it gets me in gigantic trouble. But sure, I can pretend that I have it all together because that is what I am supposed to.

You watch friends and family succeed and you do tricks to try to keep up. Obviously, all of this is documented with semi-bragging posts on social media. Because if not, you would not even know what your third cousin, Suzy has been up to the last few months. Competition for perfection is fueled by watching what your high school classmates have been up to. All along though they may or may not be looking at you thinking that you are doing well for yourself.

Each day I wake up with the intentions of getting my life together, but at this point, I do not even know what that means. I look at others with envy as I think they have it all together, but in reality most, (if not all) are struggling just like me.

I should find happiness in all that I have already accomplished and look in myself to take the right steps to the future. But it is easier said than done, especially when considering all the uncertainty that comes with. I could easily state that I will be living in a select city, married, and with the job of my dreams by the time I am a certain age. However, I do not know what job opportunities await after the big graduation day, whether the guy I am in love with will love me back forever, and whether the "dream job" is going to be all that it is cracked up to be.

So for now, I am going to act like I have it all together because maybe, someday I will really have it all together. And to be honest, I am not sure I ever want to reach enlightenment because not knowing may be the secret in what keeps me motivated. Maybe. I do not know. Like I said before: "I have no idea what I am doing."

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

I oftentimes (excessively) use the excuse of my job as a writer to justify my excessive spending habits.

I needed the new Huda Beauty palette before anyone else in the name of journalistic integrity. It was my job to test out the new Francis Kurkdjian fragrance to make sure I could tell people whether or not it was truly worth the splurge (it was).

Keep Reading... Show less

I remember the days where closet drinking before going to a party or bar was part of the night's itinerary. It was a requirement to have a good buzz flowing before calling the Uber to take you to that bar where you see everyone from your high school at. The pregames were the best part of the night, but it wasn't ever because of the alcohol, it was because of the atmosphere and those who were in it. The number of times I've heard "Wait, why aren't you drinking tonight? C'mon, get drunk with us" is endless, but think about it. Where were you when you were asked that? You were at the goddamn pregame and being there doesn't mean you need to be ripping shots. Being social doesn't require alcohol.

I asked 20 people how they cut back on alcohol while still being social.

Keep Reading... Show less

This Viral Miami University Instagram Page Features Stories Of The Victims Of Discrimination On Campus

There's a new wave of battles for change on Miami University's campus, and Dear Miami is at the root of the fuel to the fire.

There's a lot going on right now, and everything is extremely uncertain. Some of the largest and time-old issues we're facing heavily right now are the ones around human rights.

Keep Reading... Show less
Erikka Chowdhury

To all of those who don't know me, I'm an American girl with South Asian parents who have carved their own niche as immigrants in the USA.

Keep Reading... Show less

Listen, you can do whatever you want with your free time. It's yours to spend and you have free range. However, I hope you recognize that there are a ton of proactive things you can do right now instead of stalking your man's ex – yes, I know you do it becuase we are all guilty of it.

Take this time to research your privilege. There are always new things to learn and ways to deepen your understanding of yourself, this world, and your surroundings. We live in a multi-dimensional, ever-changing society that needs your help and your time. By that, I mean there are so many layers to each and every one of us, and with our physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional selves, we can create real, positive change.

Keep Reading... Show less

Whether you are quarantining away from your significant other because of coronavirus or separated by the country lines at this time, it's fair to say that long-distance relationships are tough no matter what. However, there are ways to show love from a distance whether that's through daily FaceTime calls, cute Snapchats, or sexy pics sent to them on their phone. You can brighten up their day even more with some of these unique gifts that can fit any price range and a variety of interests.

Keep Reading... Show less

Preview These Top Nordstrom Anniversary Sale 2020 Picks — From Luxury Purses To Skincare

Currently 3 million people viewing the Stella McCartney purse I absolutely must have.

Online shopping has been a guilty pleasure of ours for years, but now more than ever it's been a shopping lover's outlet for all our home redecorating projects and resort wear we're purchasing for that trip we had to cancel.

One of my favorite places to (virtually) window shop has always been Nordstrom. I admittedly can't afford to go on sprees there often, but I still get a high off of adding things to my cart I know I'll never actually end up buying. But sometimes, that's not enough — that's when I, like the masses of luxury-, beauty-, fashion-, and decor-lovers around the world count the days down to the annual Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

Keep Reading... Show less

Rihanna is known for many things: her music, fashion, makeup, and now skincare. As a makeup artist myself, I can confidently say that she rocked the makeup world when she released her makeup line in 2017 and has been influencing the beauty world ever since.

Trying some of her makeup products myself, I know that she doesn't skimp on quality, and even though some of her products may be a little pricey, trust me, you get what you pay for.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments