Truth Be Told: I Have No Idea What I Am Doing
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Truth Be Told: I Have No Idea What I Am Doing

But I know I'm not alone.

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Truth Be Told: I Have No Idea What I Am Doing
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To be honest with you, I have no clue what I am doing. Sure, I have a job, classes are scheduled for the fall, I have landed an internship for the summer, and plan on graduating early. But that does not mean that I have my life together more than the next person. Because the thing is, I am worrying about where I am going to live after graduation, where I will apply for jobs, if I will be able to afford an apartment, and how I will pay off the debt that I have racked up the last few years.

I am no different than the girl I was in high school that was randomly applying for colleges, crossing my fingers and silently praying that I would get accepted. It was not luck on my side, of course, it was all the handwork that I had placed into papers, studying for tests, and extracurricular activities that helped me land acceptance letters. But even then I had randomly chosen a major based on the fact that it sounded good to me. Luckily, it worked out for me, as I know that is not the case for everyone.

To continue on the honesty train I will tell you that I spent my day binge watching "Bob's Burgers" on Netflix and my lunch consisted of cheese fries and candy. Procrastination is a term that I am too fond of and I am waiting for the day that it gets me in gigantic trouble. But sure, I can pretend that I have it all together because that is what I am supposed to.

You watch friends and family succeed and you do tricks to try to keep up. Obviously, all of this is documented with semi-bragging posts on social media. Because if not, you would not even know what your third cousin, Suzy has been up to the last few months. Competition for perfection is fueled by watching what your high school classmates have been up to. All along though they may or may not be looking at you thinking that you are doing well for yourself.

Each day I wake up with the intentions of getting my life together, but at this point, I do not even know what that means. I look at others with envy as I think they have it all together, but in reality most, (if not all) are struggling just like me.

I should find happiness in all that I have already accomplished and look in myself to take the right steps to the future. But it is easier said than done, especially when considering all the uncertainty that comes with. I could easily state that I will be living in a select city, married, and with the job of my dreams by the time I am a certain age. However, I do not know what job opportunities await after the big graduation day, whether the guy I am in love with will love me back forever, and whether the "dream job" is going to be all that it is cracked up to be.

So for now, I am going to act like I have it all together because maybe, someday I will really have it all together. And to be honest, I am not sure I ever want to reach enlightenment because not knowing may be the secret in what keeps me motivated. Maybe. I do not know. Like I said before: "I have no idea what I am doing."

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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