I’ve had it! I’ve had it! I HAVE HAD IT! Every holiday of every year, the members of my generation have to sit at the table and listen to our parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles tell us about how bad the millennial generation is. We’ve all heard it. “All we do is spend time on our phones! We’re so lazy! All we do is have sex and get pregnant! We’re so coddled!”

WELL, I HAVE HAD IT! I am here to prove that the millennial generation is the best generation in recent history. To go on record, I don’t mean ‘better’ as in we’re more connected to the world or any of that existential nonsense. I am here to show that we’re better, imperially.

Let’s get right into it with the most fun reason we’re better than our precedents: sex and drugs. You think "16 and Pregnant" is bad? Our grandparents had so much unmarried teen sex that for every 1,000 kids born during the Baby Boom, 100 of them were bastards from unmarried teenage mothers. For a reference, today’s rate is 50 for 1,000. The millennials have literally cut the unmarried teen pregnancy rate in half! As our grandparents and parents get older, do you know what rates are going up? STDs among the elderly… seriously. While your parents and grandparents complain about our generation’s sex drive, they are literally still unable to keep it in their respective pants to the point where 80 percent of people ages 50 to 90 are sexually active, and that cases of syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia have doubled across the board since the Baby Boomers reached that demographic.

As for drugs, are you kidding me? Where does the generation that invented Woodstock get off telling us we do too many drugs? When our parents were teenagers, the percentage that used alcohol, tobacco, or an explicit drug was 75 percent. Want to know what that rate is today? 50 percent. While the Baby Boomers were popping ecstasy and drinking vodka, the Millennials were busy cutting that rate by 25 percent.

“Yeah, okay!” I’m sure all the Baby Boomers are saying at this point. “But we only did those things because we worked hard in our day! Not like you Millennials, who just sit around all day going on your tweeters and facebooks! When I was a kid, I had to walk to school then fight in a war for summer break. These coddled kids should try going out into the real world to see what it’s like!” Now, it is true that a fair amount of the Baby Boomers, 45 percent, worked before and during college at some crappy part time job for their pizza, gas, and booze money. Now, that’s fair, that’s a fair, respectable, amount for a generation. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not something absurd like 80 percent. Eighty percent of a generation working before and during college is absolutely ridiculous. Oh, by the way, the percent of millennials that work before and during college is 80 percent. Which can statistically be classified as ‘almost all.' Keep in mind that this is on top of everything else! 80 percent of the Millennials are working in that demographic on top of athletics, clubs, volunteering, and academics, which, unsurprisingly, we also participate in more than our precedents. Do you want to know what the kicker is to all of this? That statistic isn’t even counting unpaid internships. That’s right, folks, 80 percent of Millennials hold a job before and during college, not counting that fun little stint as an indentured servant most of us will have to go through.

“What’s the point of that?” I’m sure will be uttered at some point. “These kids today are idiots, have you ever talked to one of them? They can’t text in proper English and so many of them get injured doing stupid things like planking and YOLO. Anyone can work, but I fear for this country with the next generation being so unintelligent!” Now, I’m not going to defend stupid people on the internet, but what I will defend is that from 1970 to 2013, the number of kids dropping out of school has been cut in half. Furthermore, in the 1950s, the number of people in America with a Bachelor’s degree was barely over 10 percent. Today that number is 30 percent, and it’s almost exclusively due to the Millennials. Also, you know those phones and video games Baby Boomers complain about us being on so much? Funnily enough, they’re making us smarter because, as it so happens, constantly playing games based on strategy, problem solving, team work, quick responses, and puzzles makes you a better strategist, problem solver, team worker and quick thinker. Who’d have guessed it?

My favorite complaint leveled against my generation is that we’re spoiled. We’ve all heard it, we’ve all sat at the table, quietly seething, as our parents and grandparents chastised us on how spoiled we are. Want to know a fun fact about our government and debt? Social security and medicare are bankrupting us. Literally half of our entire nation’s GDP is going to pay for Medicare, 25 percent, and Social Security, 24 percent. The Greatest Generation didn’t save for retirement because they knew their kids would pay it off. The Baby Boomers didn’t save for retirement because they knew their kids would pay it off. Do you know who is saving for retirement? Who knows that the buck stops here and they can’t push it off onto their children? The Millennials. On top of this, the Baby Boomers have quadrupled the nation debt to the point where it is 19 trillion and rising by the day. There’s no statistics I could bring up to measure being ‘spoiled,’ but the fact remains that The Greatest Generation expected their children to financially support half their life, the Baby Boomers spend money that could make a Kardashian blush, and the Millennials are the ones intending to bite the bullet and pay the bill. So yes, please, let’s have a conversation about being spoiled.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Baby Boomers and Greatest Generation. If the goal of a generation is to produce a better one, then you did your job as parents. You may have left our nation and economy in shambles, but you did your job as parents, and ultimately, that’s what matters. However, the issue arises that with an inherent sense of entitlement and arrogance; you think and feel the need to constantly reassure yourselves that you’re better than your children despite all evidence to the contrary.

Now, I’m not blaming anyone. Most Baby Boomers grew up directly after WWII. The economy was good, we were winning wars, life was good, and you continue to act like life is good. Even though they handled it poorly, at least the Greatest Generation went through the type of miserable circumstances that instills a level of humility, to the point where most of their Millennial complaints stem from general ignorance about the technology and society we indulge in. But to the Baby Boomers, you did your job. You raised a generation that was better then you were, just like the Millennials will raise a generation better than we are. Rest on those laurels instead of coping with some need to diminish your children and their generational accomplishments.