When someone tried to ask me how well I slept, it did not concern me. What did concern me, however, was that this person thought that I tossed and turned all night because, apparently, I could not sleep. The problem is that I left the light on in the livingroom that night, so the window displayed a telltale glow. When I woke up that morning, I eventually turned the light off. I went about my usual morning routine of getting ready and was out the door. I had slept soundly. I had not communicated with anyone about my sleeping habits that night. How did this person know?

This is stalking. According to http://victimsofcrime.org/, stalking is defined as:

• Follow you and show up wherever you are.
• Send unwanted gifts, letters, cards, or e-mails.
• Damage your home, car, or other property.
• Monitor your phone calls or computer use.
• Use technology, like hidden cameras or global positioning systems (GPS), to track where you go.
• Drive by or hang out at your home, school, or work.
• Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets.
• Find out about you by using public records or online search services, hiring investigators, going through your garbage, or contacting friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers.
• Posting information or spreading rumors about you on the Internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth.
• Other actions that control, track, or frighten you.

Direct quote. And guess what? Every single state in the United States has laws that says that ALL these behaviors are illegal.

There is a difference between a person being concerned about another person’s safety by asking personal questions and a person purposely twisting the information that they are given. Stalkers frequently ask personal questions about a person in order to fabricate a fake relationship with someone they do not know.

I heard rumors that I was supposed to move when I was never supposed to move. I heard a rumor saying that I had memory problems or I would get black out drunk and not remember doing awful things. The problem? None of this is true. I have never done anything to “wipe out” my memory, and I have NEVER been black out drunk. Strangers would come up to me in coffee shops and taunt me with the lies behind my back. The problem is that I cannot report strangers because I do not know their names. Police officers cannot interview people without evidence.

Someone would be confident in illegally defaming another person’s character by stalking them in order to find valid information to go along with the lies. People are more likely to believe lies if a lie is accompanied by the truth.

For example, if I wore a green shirt one day and a stalker saw this before anyone else, they could make up a lie saying that I did something that I did not do while wearing this green shirt. Once someone else saw me in the green shirt, they would be more likely to believe the lie accompanied by the truth of the green shirt.

The important lesson to take away from this is that there is a difference between people being genuinely interested in another person’s well-being, and a stalker attempting to utilize information in order to harm an innocent person. Stalking is illegal. It is important to report it to as many authorities as possible.