How common is cheating?

Even though society frowns upon cheating it is ridiculously common. Between 30 % to 60% of married people admit to cheating. Although, 80% of people not married but in relationships admit to cheating at some point in their lives. The statistics doesn’t mean that cheating should be justified but it means that biologically it is difficult to be monogamous. While you are in a relationship it is expected that you will be attracted to other people and that is nothing to be ashamed about. Just because you may think someone else is attractive that doesn’t mean you love your partner less. Although, there is a difference between acting upon that desire (actually cheating) or just thinking about it and learning to accept it. If you do research on hunter and gatherer communities that are still existing, monogamy and committed relationships doesn’t rule out sleeping with others. Even the evolution of man ten thousand years ago our tribal ancestors would think owning someone or being completely monogamous is absurd. Monogamy is just not natural and that is why cheating is very common.

What is cheating?

Some people believe that flirting with other people while in a relationship is cheating. I personally have a very outgoing and playful spirit so some people call me a flirt. I think if anyone cut off playful flirting in their relationship, that relationship would soon become suffocating. There is obviously a difference between playful flirting and seduction and that needs to be clarified between the person you are with. Being only responsive to one person emotional and physically can take a toll on both people in the relationship. Learning to be receptive to others compliments and admirations about you while you are in a relationship should not be considered cheating.

If monogamy is so difficult, should I not even try?

No of course not! Just because something is hard to accomplish doesn’t mean that you should give up on it all together. Think of monogamy as something that is out of everyone’s comfort zone but everything great comes from exploring outside of your comfort zone and taking on more difficult tasks. Monogamous relationships help you learn about yourself, your partner and about the world. At least it has done so for me. If you fail and end up cheating, do not beat yourself up and make yourself miserable. You simply just gave into our biological temptations. If you want to eventually get married to someone I think a wise choice would be to come to terms with the commonality of cheating. Odds are within 50 years of marriage one of you is going to cheat, that is not my opinion that is statistics. You have two choices, turn your back on the truth or accept the truth. Celebrate the process it takes to actually get monogamy right!

Would he/she cheat on me?

Yes. Even if it seems like something you would never do and you are determined that only the people that go to hell cheat. No, that’s just simply not realistic. Everyone would cheat given the right circumstances. Not just men, women too! As a woman, if I were totally emotionally devastated and needed a friend or someone to hold I believe in that circumstance I could cheat. As for men I feel if they are unhappy in their current relationship and someone else is feeding their pride and ego with interest and attraction in that circumstance they would cheat too. Again, this does not make cheating ok but it is a great thing to grow and learn from.

Soures:

http://www.alternet.org/sex-dawn-9-interesting-things-weve-learned-about-sex-studying-our-ancient-ancestors

https://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/stats-about-infidelity.html

http://michaelfiore.org/the-secret-survey/