What scares you? Some of you may respond that you have a fear of heights, death, or public speaking. Yes, there are various forms of fear that can muster in one’s mind, but I think one of the most underestimated human fears is trust. When was the first time your heart was broken? The first time you saw your parents fight? Or the first time your best friend betrayed you? This moment of unbelief evoked a sense of alert inside you. You became aware of the true evils in our world. You began to understand humanity a little more as your heart shattered into a million pieces and your faith in someone or something dissipated into nothing. In this moment, your mind unconsciously changed. It changed the way you view the world and the way you perceive others. And now, there is a barrier—a wall of defense. A barrier between the very slim people you trust and the wide population that you wouldn’t dare to let into your life. And from this moment on, trust became a fear instead of an innate, intuitive ability.

I will be honest: trust is a new, innovative process with every different person you meet. With every new friendship and relationship, that trigger inside you stays very alert as you are never quite complacent. It takes constant trial and error to find the right people to be vulnerable to and the right people that will slowly dissolve your wall of security. It takes patience and experience. You have to listen to that little voice inside your head that serves as a red flag when you encounter untrustworthy people. In other words, trust your instincts. Most of the time, we ignore that pitted feeling in our stomach because we want to believe in the better of people. We have an enormous amount of hope that blinds us from reality. We choose to believe in a false reality—which often masks itself as lies and dishonesty. This illusion infiltrates our minds and deceives our instincts. Distinguishing reality from false reality is a skill that takes time and countless experiences to acquire. You have to differentiate genuine personalities from unauthentic experiences and masks of reality.

Thus said, trust will always be hard to conquer. Trusting new friends and new faces will never be a walk in the park. It will never feel natural again, but over time, with the right people in your life and the right mindset, it will start to feel rehearsed. Just like you have to memorize notes over and over again for exams or how you had to repeat the same motion of learning to ride a bike a thousand times, your mind learns to adapt. You can train your mind to learn this new skill of trust through countless repetitions and learning from your mistakes.

It is vital to admit that trust is an issue. So many of us live our lives without any acknowledgment that maybe we should put aside unimportant matters and develop real skills that we can actually implement in our lives. How often do you meet new people? Almost every day. Trust is a skill that we need to acquire in order to obtain our full potentials as human beings.

So take this information with you the next time you introduce yourself to a new person. The second you shake his/her hand is the second you should promise yourself to begin this new process of trust. Learn from the bad ones, and embrace the good ones.