When people think of healthy relationships, they think of the “perfect” fairytale relationship where the guy picks the girl up at 8, takes her to dinner and a movie, they kiss goodnight, and all is well.

But let’s face it, this isn’t a reality, especially in today’s society. Today’s relationships contain control, manipulation, and pure heartache.

There are some relationships that really are “perfect”, or very close to perfect, but they’re very few and far from in between. This is something that both woman and men face in relationships, this could happen to anyone in any relationship.

When you begin to date someone, if that person is controlling, you will notice the red flags.

Every relationship is different, none of them are exactly the same, some more similar than others but not always. If a man or a woman tries to tell you what you can and can’t do, then there is a problem.

Their excuse of “I don’t trust you” is invalid.

A healthy relationship contains trust, this is not trust. RED FLAG. You already have parents, you don’t need another boss.

You’re allowed to have friends other than your significant other. If your significant other tries to tell you that you can’t be friends with the sex that you’re attracted to, then there’s a trust issue.

In the past, I let someone tell me that I wasn’t allowed to be friends with my guy friends and that is one of the biggest regrets I have. It’s okay to have friends of the opposite sex, and if you’re from the gay community, it’s okay to have friends of the same sex.

There is nothing wrong with friendships. Friendships help keep your relationships healthy. If your significant other doesn’t trust you with your friends, then it’s not going to work. RED FLAG. Do not let another human tell you who you can and can associate with, this is unhealthy.

If your significant other won’t allow you to go out with your friends and do your own thing, then there’s a problem. When I say go out, I mean go to a party, or to a club, or even to the movies.

If your significant other can’t trust you to have fun with your friends, they’re controlling. RED FLAG.

Go out with your friends but be responsible, that should be common sense. It’s okay to have a girls night or go out with the boys.

The topic of social media is on a whole new level. In today’s society, everyone has social media. “Likes” have turned into forms of flirting and sliding in the DM’s is this generations way of communication, this in itself is rather backward but this is why relationships are so hard.

No one trusts their significant other to follow or be friends with certain people on social media because they think you’re cheating.

Don’t let someone dictate your socials, be a good enough person to not cheat and let your significant other trust you. Trust is so important.

Now, if you’re on the controlling end of this relationship then you’re hurting yourself just as much as your significant other.

You’re pushing the person you love most away. This is just as unhealthy for you as it is them.

Trust the person you love, or it will never work out. Love them and know that they’re not going to break your trust and if they do then you get stronger.

Trust is everything, it can make or break a relationship. Don’t be the reason your significant other throws red flags. Talk to them, compromise, tell the truth and learn to trust.

Bottom line: don’t let your significant other control you and don’t control your significant other. Trust is the key to successful relationships.

Being controlled is never a positive thing.

Control is never a positive thing.

Trust is just as important as loving them.