One of the most important things someone can tell you is that they trust you. Whether it be “I told you first” or “I knew I could count on you,” it makes you feel good to know that someone trusts you. It can take years to gain someone’s trust or even a second with a heart-warming smile. It varies for everyone.
For me, it’s hard for someone to really gain my trust. I have a lot trust issues after having friends lie to me, turn on me, etc. And once that trust is gone, I don’t know what to do. They know all these things about me and probably know me better than anyone.
Now, they’re another face in the crowd.
I could forgive them, but what will that mean the next time?
Am I going to be used again? Every part of me wants to forgive them, but the other part doesn’t. The trust we had built years for is gone. Sure, they may think they were making a choice to save our friendship, but in the process were really breaking it.
Trust is really what makes a relationship (romantic or platonic) with someone. In a long-distance relationship, the most important part of it is trusting them. If you don’t trust them, how do you believe they’re not doing you wrong? It’s the same in a friendship. That person could easily be going behind your back.
All I want is for it to go back to normal and to trust them with my life, but I don’t know if I can. What does it say about me if I do? Am I going to be walked over again? Is it going to give someone else the permission to walk over me? Hopefully not. But you really don’t know. All I can do for now is clean up the mess you made.
Only time will tell. Sure, now it feels like my heart has been ripped out and set on fire with the power of the suns. The only thing I want to do is cry or break a window. But all I can do now is wait.