Alright kids, gather round.

Mama is about to teach you a lesson on how to go home for the holidays...the right way. I was inspired to write this when I re-watched the "Back Home Ballers" sketch from SNL, so here is a list of ways to be a true Back Home Baller.

1. Take up as much space as possible.

Sprawl out wherever you want and be as unapologetic as you desire. Don't you worry about getting in anyone's way because they are there for YOU!

2. Sleep until your mom yells at you to get a job.

Turn off the alarms. It's your vacation. Use it wisely.


3. Eat all of the food.

Free food? Hell yes.

4. Leave everything EVERYWHERE.

Clean up after yourself? Nope. Your family misses you, so you're off the hook.

5. Spend no money.

Need something? Someone will offer it up to you for the special occasion of you being around.

6. Wash your clothes as much as you want.

Pay for laundry supplies? NOPE. You're welcome.

7. Put earplugs in while you're with your family so you don't have to acknowledge your lack of accomplishments.

No, I don't have a boyfriend. No, I don't have a job. Yes, I'm annoyed with you. Let me live my life!