I am constantly worried about others. I am always trying to make sure that everyone is okay, and I consistently worry about what others are doing instead of paying attention to the thing that ultimately matters the most – myself. You see, paying attention to yourself is usually deemed as selfish. Maybe that’s why I don’t do it because I fear looking “selfish.”

Throughout my life, I’ve known the word “selfish” to mean only caring or worrying about yourself. Why is that so bad? Why is it so bad to pay attention yourself and your needs and wants? Most of us go through life trying to please others. But when you’re on your deathbed looking back on your life, do you want memories of you worrying about everyone else, or do you want to know that you lived your life for yourself and made yourself happy.

Happiness comes from within, and sure we can definitely make ourselves happy by helping and pleasing others. But what if what you’re doing to try and please someone doesn’t work out the way you had hoped and gives you the opposite reaction you were expecting? You’ll be left in disappointment, and no one likes to be disappointed.

Of course, you can go through trying to be “selfless” through pleasing others, but before you do that, make sure you please yourself first. Taking the time to relax, have a glass of wine, and doing what makes you happy will create inner peace. Having too many things on your to-do list can cause stress to rise and create negative energy around you.

Do something you enjoy, even if it’s for 30 minutes, and don’t give a f*** about what anyone else wants needs, or thinks. DO YOU, BOO. There are some days where I had just had enough, and I had way too many things to get done. When I notice my stress rising, I take a step back from the tasks, put on my Demi Lovato Spotify playlist, and sing. I’ve been singing since I was 13. Every time I would sing, I noticed that my mind was completely blank, and my focus was on myself and hitting that high note. My stress was gone. Everything that I was worried about was gone. From that, I had felt a sense of relief.

It’s that sense of relief that helps me to understand it’s okay to take care of myself first sometimes. I find I can help others, even more, when I know that I’m taken care of first. If I put myself first, I’ll be able to give my full attention to someone else when they need me. That way, I don’t have any distractions and I can enjoy myself and the time I spend with them.

Focusing on yourself can benefit not only your relationships in your life but your relationship with yourself as well. Stop seeing “selfish” as a bad thing. Being selfish may be one of the best ways to improve your lifestyle. Having both a clear head and positive mindset that came from the “selfish-act” of self-care, will lead you down a road of happiness and guide you to a better life.

Even though you’re always going to have over things and people to worry about, at the end of the day, you really only have yourself. Before you go to bed at night, you’re left with your own thoughts and nobody else’s. You get one body and one mind to live the best life you possibly can. Make the most of what you have. Take time out of your day to sit back, relax, eat some chocolate cake, and treat yo’self. God knows, and YOU know, you deserve it.