There is a new drug problem sweeping the nation’s young people right now. It is a dangerous new high that is 100 percent legal, extremely addicting and readily available to almost anyone.
What is this new drug? Its official name is “travel,” but it often goes by the street names “backpacking,” “studying abroad” or “finding yourself.”
This drug produces an instantly addictive, euphoric high that is known to cause its addicts to quit their jobs, abandon their relationships and leave their lives behind to embark on year-long “Travel” journeys that will produce the ultimate high.
Although the drug can be purchased by anyone, it is extremely popular among college students. On any college campus, most students openly admit to experimenting with “travel” during spring break, on long weekends or even family vacations.
When you see pictures of your friends on Instagram holding a koala in Australia or climbing to the top of Machu Picchu, it may be tempting to give the “Travel” drug a try, but as a recovering addict, I am here to tell you it’s not worth it.
Why travel when you can see everything from the comfort of your bed? Yeah, the world is big and there are a lot of places you haven’t seen yet, but that’s what technology was made for. There is literally an entire TV channel dedicated just to travel. You could go out and experience the world for yourself or you could watch Anthony Bourdain eat his way through it while you lay in bed and play Candy Crush. All those memes and “life hacks” aren’t going to retweet themselves.
Sure, right now you’re in school and have minimal responsibilities, but if you keep your part time job at Starbucks they might give you a 20-cent raise! Besides you spent weeks learning how to make the perfect macchiato, you’d be crazy to throw that away.
As if wasting your precious time weren’t enough, the world is a seriously dangerous place. Thinking about going to South America? That’s fine if you don’t mind becoming a drug mule. Africa has beautiful scenery and exotic animals, but think about all the mosquitos over there just waiting to give you malaria. Every animal in Australia can kill you, so that’s out of the picture. I guess you can go to Europe as long as you’re prepared for the collapse of the Euro.
Honestly, it’s best to just stay safe at home because if you leave, something terrible is bound to happen.
The thought of eating authentic Italian pizza in Italy or pad thai in Thailand might be appealing, but there’s no need to travel across the world when there are so many authentic foreign restaurants right here in your backyard. My suggestion would be to get a crunchwrap from Taco Bell and call it a day.
Also, if you travel abroad there is no guarantee they have Yelp. How are you supposed to make absolutely sure you are going to a restaurant that will serve gluten-free, fat-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, vegan food if you don’t have pretentious foodies writing reviews for you?
Even if you ignore all of my advice and go out on the road anyway, the high you get from that “travel” drug will eventually come crashing down when you are forced to return home. Everything in your normal life will become mundane and pointless and you will spend every waking hour plotting ways to get your hands on some more “travel.”
So please, before you become addicted to the incurable wanderlust “travel” will inevitably bring you, just say no.