As we get older, we tend to notice more of what is going on around us, maybe you notice your friend who is unhappy in their new relationship, or maybe they notice it about you.
One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence. And it's not just teens/young adults. It can be seen among adult relationships in too.
A toxic relationship is when a relationship is characterized by behaviors on the part of the toxic partner that is emotionally, and not infrequently, physically, psychologically, or financially damaging to their partner. While much of the time it is seen in a romantic relationship, it can also be seen between friendships and even families.
1. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
If you don't first have a strong relationship with yourself then how can you have a strong relationship with another person, romantic or otherwise? When your relationship is toxic the lines can start to blur. If that happens, then it's time to get out. BYE.
2. Only apologize when you are at fault.
Rule number 1: Don't, whatever you do, apologize for everything. Only apologize when you need to, try not to apologize when you can't help something like someone getting a bad grade or losing their keys.
3. Only you should have power over your happiness.
4. Don't let anyone make you feel small.
5. Your needs and wants matter too.
In short, YOU matter.
6. Your reasons are valid.
Even if you don't want to share them, or your partner/friend/family member feels they are not.
7. You have to stand your ground, no matter how hard it is to do so.
Bottom line: stand up for yourself and if something doesn't feel right say so. Not everyone has your best interests at heart. Certain people will try to take advantage of you. Have confidence in you.
8. You are NOT all the things they claim you are.
9. You did not waste your time.
Maybe it lasted years or maybe only a few months but from that relationship, you learned. You learned the things you want and the things you don't. What your willing to sacrifice/compromise on and what you can't. The relationship helped you grow and shaped who you became after it.
10. Obsession and love are two completely separate things.
Having an intense physical attraction or an obsession is not the same as love. It is about more than that. It's about respect, commitment, and communication.
11. Someone who really loves you will lift you up instead of knocking you down.
It's not normal to have chronic love anxiety. When you realize you are with the wrong person, you will start to want more for yourself, which can become a good thing.
12. You deserve someone special.
Because sometimes "I love you" is not enough.