He isn't worth it.
But you ask yourself all the time if he is. If maybe he just needs one person not to give up on him. Maybe he just needs to be loved, unconditionally, until he realizes he's worthy.
But he's not. He's not worth the anxiety, the fear, the constant lump in your throat or the nasty words he's said, and will continue to say, that keep you up at night, wondering why someone who loves you would ever put so much effort into hurting you.
He's not worth it because he puts himself above you in every possible situation. Your feelings will always come second to his. Your well-being will always be at the mercy of his. Your day will continue to depend on his mood, and you will continuously be blamed for his wrong doings.
There won't be a day, at least not anytime soon, where he will apologize and truly be sorry. The apologies will only come when he's fearful of losing you, but where is the sincerity in that? There won't be a day where something clicks and he really understands how wrong he is. He won't see the damage he is doing because in his mind it's not his fault. And don't ever expect there to be a time where he tries with all his might to make up for what he's done.
He isn't worth it because you can't fix him. As long as you are his safety net he will take advantage of your patience, your forgiveness and your effort to save him from himself.
He will keep you in harm's way to use you as a vessel for his emotional instability. It isn't right, but he won't accept that because he refuses to be held accountable for what he's done wrong. And that is the exact reason why he is unfixable. He isn't accountable, he isn't honest and he isn't motivated to change himself. There's no saving someone with that mindset.
Do not allow this to go on any longer. You deserve a relationship that creates love and peace in your heart. Nothing less. You deserve to trust the person you are with. Love is not supposed to make you fearful, anxious, nervous, depressed and worn down. Love does not make you question your worth, your meaning. It never makes you beg for what is right. Love is not disrespectful.
He will have power over your happiness for as long as you let him, and I promise you, he will not give you a life of happiness and bliss. He will continue to make you feel like crap, make you worry, second guess, lose faith, disappoint yourself and cry over how he treats you.
Do not allow him to hold a place in your life when this is what he does with it. You are worth far more than that and he is not worth the pain. Let him go and replace him with someone who is worthy of your love.
