A mother is a woman who is supposed to be there for you and support you. Someone to love you and maybe say "I'm proud of you."

I never really had that. My mom has been there, yes, but since I have gotten older it's like I am fading away.

Throughout middle/high school it was always an on and off relationship. At times it was abusive. I didn't know things were abusive till one of my family members told me what she is doing isn't right. The yelling all the time. She thinks I'm responsible for her happiness. She would make it seem like the only thing she cares about is her dogs and herself. Would compare me to my sister or someone else's child.

Still to this day I am fading away from her. It's like I am not even her daughter. She doesn't care that I work, pay my own bills, and take care of myself. I recently paid for a Disney vacation and apparently that was a bad thing to do.

The sad thing is that I always let her back in my life, thinking she has changed, but in all honesty, I just get hurt again. It sucks knowing you have a mother but she wants nothing to do with you.

When you feel her dogs are more important than you. Or when you feel like you are the problem and it hurts knowing things have got so bad with your family that you blame yourself.

I am just so thankful to the family who have been there for me. My father, sisters, cousins, aunt, and uncle. They are the best people I could have asked for. When I need to vent or talk about how I am feeling they are there to listen. They have let me know that nothing is my fault in a toxic relationship. I can't say thank you enough to the people who have helped take care of me when someone wasn't there.