I Let Go Of My Toxic Relationship Because It Was Beaten Out Of Me
Start writing a post
Relationships

I Let Go Of My Toxic Relationship Because It Was Beaten Out Of Me

How one person's actions can forever affect how you think of love.

262
I Let Go Of My Toxic Relationship Because It Was Beaten Out Of Me
Pexels

I grew up with the skewed thinking that love and protection were interchangeable.

I was programmed at an early age to believe that the men I date and the man I would marry would protect me. And I held on to this philosophy until it was beaten out of me.

You never think it’s going to happen. You are smart enough and you are kind enough and you are pretty enough that no one would ever want to hurt you.

And then it happens once. And you know deep down it’ll never happen again.

You are smart enough and you are kind enough and you are pretty enough that he won't do it again. And you keep thinking and believing that he won't until one day you’re standing in front of a mirror holding back tears because if you cry the makeup will stream down and everyone will see the rainbow of colors he stained on your cheek.

And right then, you know you are not smart enough and you aren’t kind enough and you aren’t pretty enough for him to stop.

After you get out of that toxic relationship –IF you get out of that toxic relationship alive– you think it's over, but it's not.

I feel him in my mother’s touch when she braids my hair and skims my neck with the back of her hand.

I feel him in my tears when I cry because I never knew, standing in the mirror that day, that I would ever stop.

I feel him in my heart when I am happy because I was once happy with him and I never thought I would be happy again.

So I will no longer laugh at jokes about being beaten because “laughing a little and not being so uptight” will not undo the scars he left behind. And I will no longer hold onto the skewed thinking that love and protection are interchangeable. It has been beaten out of me.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

58919
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

38037
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

959547
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

195724
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments