Detox

Don't be a slut/ don't be a prude.

What were you wearing?

You throw well....for a girl.

While as alarming as they are to hear, many women in today's society understand all too well that the above statements are but an example of the onslaught they must endure throughout their everyday life. The combative notions that women should accept all compliments (when it is harassment) , smile consistently (to not be seen as "bitchy") , and watch what they wear for fear of distracting boys, are almost universally recognized as women's modern-day issue.

I disagree.

This issue affects everyone, and is one that should be recognized by everyone. Unfortunately, mainstream society is often gun shy when it comes to the f-word; feminism, that is; many are ignorant (ignorant, as in "to lack knowledge in said area") of how feminism actually seeks equality for all genders. In fact, a majority of feminists are not the negatively-stereotypical man-hating, always-angry women who argue for argument's sake. To be honest, not all are even women.

Yes, I am a feminist; yes, I am male.

Which opens up the flip side of the debate: how do men factor in to this blatant sexism?

In truth, how a multitude of young males are raised directly correlates with how sexist men treat women as a result, for young boys are also barraged with inflammatory remarks from their childhood:

What are you, gay?

You throw like a girl!

Be a man.

Be a man. Those three words were deemed, in a 2014 New York Times article aptly titled, "The Harmful Affect of Masculinity", the most detrimental to the development of young men, and are the root of toxic masculinity. This poisonous ideal goes by many a name, masquerading as "Boys will be boys," or "Boys don't cry". This social venom infects nearly every aspect of our lives (and for once, I'm not over-dramatizing it) , when it's commonplace for men to insult each as "bitches", "gay", or wherein their behavior is "like a girl". From such a young age, the male population learns that most insults are comparisons to females and the LGBT community. From a young age, the male population incorrectly believes that those groups are acceptable to be mocked.

As young boys grow into men, these insults evolve like a virus into questions including, but not limited to, "She's not taking your last name?", "You're not emasculated she's making more money than you?", and "Who wear the pants in your marriage?". The same boys who hid up in their tree/clubhouse with the sign, "No Girls Allowed" just put on a suit and joined the corporate "Old Boy's Club" that reinforces the Glass Ceiling. Toxic masculinity raises boys taught to hate into men who teach others how sexist behavior works as part of a vicious, never-ending cycle.

Yet, I can rattle off facts for five hundred more words, but for everyone's sake, I'll keep this brief by jumping right to the point: No one's talking about it. We may read in the paper about the Steubenville Ohio rape case, where two high school football players accused of sexually assaulting a girl used "boys will be boys" as a defense, and wonder where in the hell did all the victim-blaming start? Or why all this hateful rhetoric became the acceptable norm?

Or how do we stop it?

When we talk about the issue, we are slowly but surely detoxifying America. The more we practice what we preach, and treat everyone with respect, the closer we get to an idealized society without hatred abound. The less feminism, or, really, equality is stigmatized and more ignorance is abolished, the better. It won't be overnight, but admitting there is a problem is the first step; acknowledging that toxic masculinity plagues each and every one of us. Second, we actively make changes in our own lives by not following in this negative stereotypes, perpetrating them, and stopping others around us from such conduct. Hopefully, in time, we can change "boys will be boys" into the male population taking responsibility for their actions, and "You throw like a girl", into a compliment. Ultimately, toxic masculinity will only be purged from society's system when its citizens are ready for the antidote: acceptance among all walks of life.