Fellas, Switching Out Toxic Masculinity For Your Inner Femininity Doesn't Mean You're Gay

Fellas, Switching Out Toxic Masculinity For Your Inner Femininity Doesn't Mean You're Gay

It does not make you gay to care about your appearance.


These past few years, I have seen more and more men experimenting with wearing makeup and feminine clothing. Even though many of them are supported by their peers for making that decision, there is still a huge stigma surrounding the idea of men being anything less than 100 percent masculine.

One of the most common comments made towards men that have chosen to embrace a more feminine style is that they are gay. This is extremely harmful because not only is that man being shamed for his style choices, but gay people are disrespected by being used as insults.

You cannot tell what someone's sexuality is based on the way they present themselves. Stereotypes are not accurate and reinforcing them only further oppresses a marginalized group. The stereotypes of being gay are what caused many men in my life to become hypermasculine as a way to prevent themselves from coinciding with any of those stereotypes. It is also led to them bullying men that were gay as a final attempt to solidify that they were straight.

It is ridiculous that when a man cares about his appearance he is called gay because wanting to look like the best version of yourself is just practicing self-care. Men are taught that engaging in activities that require you to spend more time in front of the mirror, such as caring for your skin, putting on makeup, and styling your hair, is something that only a gay man would do.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man wanting to look presentable. Of course, looks are not everything and should by no means be what you focus on the most, but it is still important to make sure you take the time to take care of yourself. Men should not feel that they need to look like slobs that never give their appearance a second thought. If you seriously believe that that is what a "true man" would do, then I pity you. While your skin is breaking out and your hair looks like it has not been combed in months, the supposed "gay men" you are taunting for looking put together are actually having their appearance complimented.

I have also seen way too many men falling into a rut of wearing gym shorts with a t-shirt because of the same idea that it is gay to care about your looks. Your fashion choices do not dictate your sexuality. You can be a straight man that decides to wear a skirt and heels and still be just as straight as a man in jeans and sneakers.

Clothing is just a way to express one's individuality and men should not shy away from trying trends that are considered feminine out of fear of being seen as less of a man. Fashion does not follow the gender constructs that our society has created. We should be inspired by the environment that the fashion industry has created that promotes being unique and creative and apply that to our daily lives. Instead of trying to force men into a box of what society expects them to look like, we should encourage them to experiment with both masculine and feminine styles.

I understand that there are also men that are not interested in makeup or feminine clothing, and that is completely fine. I just want men to keep an open mind when it comes to their own appearance or the appearances of other men. I am tired of the word gay being thrown around as an insult or as a threat to what a man could become if he was not careful about how he presents himself. Leave your toxic masculinity behind and learn to embrace your inner femininity.

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The Thing About Serbian Women

Srpkinja Je Mene Majka Rodila

The thing about Serbian Women is:

  1. Her wardrobe consists of the the color black
  2. She talks super loud but she’s not yelling
  3. She always talks with her hands
  4. She thinks it’s a HUGE turnoff if you can’t kolo
  5. She has a liver of a champ; I promise you she can outdrink you and friends… combined
  6. If you piss her off she is not afraid to leave you and find another man
  7. Her attitude can change within 2.5 seconds
  8. She knows if you cannot drink with her family, you guys cannot be together
  9. “Do not underestimate how many cevaps she can eat.” She can eat like there’s no tomorrow
  10. She cannot sit on the floor because then her ovaries will freeze and she won’t be able to have children
  11. Her name ends in an a
  12. She can’t leave the house with wet hair because promaja
  13. She went to Serbian school
  14. She loves bread
  15. She loves men
  16. The closest thing to medicine you will get from her is rajika on a krpa (then she’ll give you some to drink)
  17. She’s smart
  18. She’s not a cheap date
  19. She’s high maintenance
  20. She can make Srpska AND Turska kafa
  21. She won’t trust right away but once she does she’s all yours
  22. She can roll burke, pita, and kupus like no other
  23. She holds a grudge
  24. She LOVES meat
  25. She danced in a Serbian folklore group
  26. She has a white and brown pair of opanke
  27. While in folklore she lost every bobby pin she ever bought
  28. When she sees something dirty she feels this urge to clean it
  29. When Severina, Lepa Brena, or Sandra Afrika come on she’s going to dance
  30. She doesn’t need to join a sorority because her “sisters” have been with her, her entire life
  31. She went clubbing for the first time when she was 15
  32. She will turn into her mother, if she hasn't already
  33. She went to church camp
  34. It takes her forever to get ready
  35. She went to Sunday school
  36. She knows someone everywhere she goes, whether it’s the mall, grocery store, or the Motherland
  37. She knows being Serbian means the world to her and she won’t change that for anyone

Whenever Srpkinja Je Mene Majka Rodila, comes on every Serbian woman gets goosebumps. That’s a song that speaks to our hearts and makes realize that we were born to be Serbian.

Cover Image Credit: Balkan Baba

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1. Urban Decay-Eyeshadow Primer Potion - $13

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2. Thrive Mascara - $24

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3. Mario Bedescu-Facial Spray with Aloe, Chamomile and Lavender - $12

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4. The Balm- Mary-Lou Manizer Highlighter - $24

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6. Aveeno Positively Nourishing Calming Body Lotion - $5.74

If I had to smell one thing for the rest of my life, it would be this. Its so calming and I think I would put it all over my body if I could. As my roommate said one time "it smells so nice."

7. Micro Beauty Blenders - $7

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8. Colourpop Give To Me Straight Eyeshadow Palette - $16

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9. Real Techniques Blend + Blur All Over Brush - $19

Blending is a real struggle with me and sometimes a beauty blender can miss a few mistakes. This brush is not only easy to use but it helps create an even and finished look when I need those last little touch ups.

10.  Wet Brush - $13.99

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