On a day-to-day basis, you'll hear people saying, "All girls should do this," or "All guys should be like that" — they are so caught up with society's expectations. They are essentially throwing someone under the bus for not falling into that category or not conforming to a particular characteristic. It's just too common with today's young males where they feel that they have to be better/stronger/more athletic/sexier than the next guy or they have to just suck it up.
I don't want to be in that position anymore.
It all starts with society telling us about unrealistic gender expectations. For example, males have to be taller, tougher, more muscular, and less emotional. What happens with this is that men will become even more upset when they can't experience emotion. They compare themselves to one another. As a result, they compete with each other to try to see who is better. Who's the more macho man, who's more of an alpha male, who's better at getting laid, or who's got the most game.
Instead of being supportive of each other, lifting each other up, most of them are toxic to each other. They threaten to beat each other up. They try to intimidate others and talk trash to them as an effort to gain respect. If it's extreme enough, they put hands on each other. Fists and punches will be thrown, and at least one person, if not both, will be physically hurt. What's more, they'll both be mentally hurt too.
This is not at all acceptable. Let me tell you the following:
I've been that person.
Being that person does NOT make me better. Instead, it makes me worse. It makes me angry. It hurts me more than it helps. I can't meet all of your expectations. There are some things about myself that I just can't change.
It hurts all of us.
It's not okay that I have to hurt myself to be perceived as a real man. I shouldn't either have to fight people or get into fistfights with them to prove that I'm more of a man. It doesn't make me more of a man. I shouldn't have to fight people or get into fistfights to gain respect. I shouldn't have to be hostile or violent as a result of masculinity. Because THAT is toxic masculinity.
It hurts all of us.
Toxic masculinity has affected my family relationships. It has thinned my skin. It has affected my ability to connect with people. It has affected my friendships and potential love connections.
It has left me questioning and doubting myself, and my own worth.
What I do know is, my worth is not defined by how much of a macho man I am. It isn't defined by what my number is, or if I can put someone on the floor and be the last one standing.
I am done with toxic masculinity, and you should be too.
The solution is to walk away. I am better than the person who will let toxic masculinity destroy him completely.
I'm walking away from it.
I vow not to conform to it. You shouldn't conform to it either, because it isn't going to help you. It will make everything worse. I am done with toxic masculinity, and you should be too.