college lectures

5 Outfits To Wear To Your 8 A.M. That Will Start Your Day Off With A BANG!

Sweater weather? Nah. This fall, make a statement, first thing in the morning!

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Disclaimer: This article is purely satirical, and I do not in any way condone breaking school rules/laws in lectures or at all.

You could be basic and wear a nice comfy pullover with sweatpants and sneakers, but you're here because you are an avant-garde trendsetter, a visionary, an outside-the-box kinda thinker. Like me, you're always looking to make a statement next time you roll into that early morning lecture armed with only an iced coffee and five hours of sleep. Here's some inspiration to get you started.

1. Your PJs

Jammies

If you're like me and always looking to minimize the time between dragging myself out of bed and chasing down my bus, this one is for you. Personally, I'm an au-natural kinda gal, and my favorite set of pajamas is just my birthday suit. If it's chilly, maybe a t-shirt and undies. Either way, not only will this save a lot of time and effort but last time I tried this one, lecture got canceled on the spot! For me at least. I also had to have a meeting with the school for some reason.

2. A Hazmat suit 

Nothing feels more like a dark omen than when the kid next to you can't stop sneezing. Some people opt for face masks and washing their hands regularly to avoid catching whatever nasty bug is floating around, but unfortunately, this won't guarantee you'll be spared. If you want to stay healthy, you gotta be ready to make big changes. Look no further than a snazzy Hazmat suit. This option isn't the cheapest. If you want the best money can buy (the lecture hall could be radioactive, you just never know these days!), you're looking at upwards of $1,000. I still think it's a worthy investment, because not only will the suit prevent all exposure to pathogens, but no one will want to sit next to you anyway. Win-win!

3. Your most formal attire 

You know what they always say, dress for the grade you want, not the grade you have. If you are willing to wake up a couple hours early and spend most of that time practicing "power poses" in the mirror to boost your confidence, you've got this. Professors are used to looking into a sea of zombies dressed like they've lost the will to live, and that's your secret weapon right there. When they see how much effort you put into your look, they will know what a serious student you are, and how deeply you care about this class. To a tenured professor who hates teaching this 100-level class just as much as you hate taking it, this is a breath of fresh air. Impressed by your initiative and dedication, they may very well hand you an A on the spot. At the very least, you might score a date with that cutie who always sits behind you!

4. Anything, but with a Camelbak full of vodka 

Ok, not an outfit, but this one you can combine with any of the others on this list! Why even bother absorbing the material when you ditch this lecture half the time anyway? It's not like you are seeking higher education to learn stuff or get your life together. That would be ridiculous. With this fashion statement, your most dreaded class will instantly become your favorite! Just don't let any of your classmates share, unless you've got that Hazmat suit on.

5. Whatever you usually wear anyway 

Blend in with all the normies with the secret knowledge that you made an intentional, radical choice when choosing your outfit. You are making a bold statement about the collective identity of millennial college students and the endless struggle of academic life, represented by your low maintenance RSO sweatshirt, jeans with a mustard stain on the thigh, and worn-out Birkenstocks. Meanwhile, your classmates refused to think creatively or try anything new for once. What a shame.

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So, You Want To Be A Nurse?

You're going to find that nursing isn't really about the medicine or the assessments. Being a nurse is so much more than anything that you can learn in school. Textbooks can't teach you compassion and no amount of lecture time will teach you what it truly means to be a nurse.

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To the college freshman who just decided on nursing,

I know why you want to be a nurse.

Nurses are important. Nursing seems fun and exciting, and you don't think you'll ever be bored. The media glorifies navy blue scrubs and stethoscopes draped around your neck, and you can't go anywhere without hearing about the guaranteed job placement. You passed AP biology and can name every single bone in the human body. Blood, urine, feces, salvia -- you can handle all of it with a straight face. So, you think that's what being a nurse is all about, right? Wrong.

You can search but you won't find the true meaning of becoming a nurse until you are in the depths of nursing school and the only thing getting you through is knowing that in a few months, you'll be able to sign the letters "BSN" after your name...

You can know every nursing intervention, but you won't find the true meaning of nursing until you sit beside an elderly patient and know that nothing in this world can save her, and all there's left for you to do is hold her hand and keep her comfortable until she dies.

You'll hear that one of our biggest jobs is being an advocate for our patients, but you won't understand until one day, in the middle of your routine physical assessment, you find the hidden, multi-colored bruises on the 3-year-old that won't even look you in the eyes. Your heart will drop to your feet and you'll swear that you will not sleep until you know that he is safe.

You'll learn that we love people when they're vulnerable, but you won't learn that until you have to give a bed bath to the middle-aged man who just had a stroke and can't bathe himself. You'll try to hide how awkward you feel because you're young enough to be his child, but as you try to make him feel as comfortable as possible, you'll learn more about dignity at that moment than some people learn in an entire lifetime.

Every class will teach you about empathy, but you won't truly feel empathy until you have to care for your first prisoner in the hospital. The guards surrounding his room will scare the life out of you, and you'll spend your day knowing that he could've raped, murdered, or hurt people. But, you'll walk into that room, put your fears aside, and remind yourself that he is a human being still, and it's your job to care, regardless of what he did.

Each nurse you meet will beam with pride when they tell you that we've won "Most Trusted Profession" for seventeen years in a row, but you won't feel that trustworthy. In fact, you're going to feel like you know nothing sometimes. But when you have to hold the sobbing, single mother who just received a positive breast cancer diagnosis, you'll feel it. Amid her sobs of wondering what she will do with her kids and how she's ever going to pay for treatment, she will look at you like you have all of the answers that she needs, and you'll learn why we've won that award so many times.

You'll read on Facebook about the nurses who forget to eat and pee during their 12-hour shifts and swear that you won't forget about those things. But one day you'll leave the hospital after an entire shift of trying to get your dying patient to eat anything and you'll realize that you haven't had food since 6:30 A.M. and you, too, will be one of those nurses who put everything else above themselves.

Too often we think of nursing as the medicine and the procedures and the IV pumps. We think of the shots and the bedpans and the baths. We think all the lab values and the blood levels that we have to memorize. We think it's all about the organs and the diseases. We think of the hospitals and the weekends and the holidays that we have to miss.

But, you're going to find that nursing isn't really about the medicine or the assessments. Being a nurse is so much more than anything that you can learn in school. Textbooks can't teach you compassion, and no amount of lecture time will teach you what it truly means to be a nurse.

So, you think you want to be a nurse?

Go for it. Study. Cry. Learn everything. Stay up late. Miss out on things. Give it absolutely everything that you have.

Because I promise you that the decision to dedicate your life to saving others is worth every sleepless night, failed test, or bad day that you're going to encounter during these next four years. Just keep holding on.

Sincerely,

The nursing student with just one year left.

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5 Things More Reliable Than Boys

Because boys suck.

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Ok, so we've all been there. You're talking to a guy and well...it's complicated. One day he acts like he's in love with you, and the next day, you're basically invisible to him. Throughout the years, I've learned that these kinds of guys aren't worth it; you deserve to be valued every single day. Plus, there are so many things in this world more reliable than boys. Here are some things I love that I know will always be there for me.

1. My best friends

Don't ever put boys over your true best friends. They are the ones that are really always there for you.

2. A good bottle of wine

Nothing says self-love by treating yourself to a quality bottle of wine. I love wine, and it loves me too.

3. Pizza

Pizza is definitely something you can always count on. I'll take it over boys any day.

4. My family

Through thick and thin, I know that my family always has my back. No matter how much I mess up, they will always love me.

5. My dog

Last but not least, my dog Bentley is DEFINITELY the best boy out there. He cuddles me, kisses me, and of course, runs to the door when I get home. I know he appreciates me, and I never have to question his unwavering loyalty to me.

Just remember that there is more to life than boys. If you are questioning if he's worth it, he probably isn't.

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