We all have had those days were we need to call out of work. Weather it be because the weather is too nice, you don't feel too well or, for some reason, my friends usually tell me they need to wash their hair. Whatever the reason be, I have found 5 fool proof ways to call out of work.
5. Car Accident
Requires: Car
Step 1: Get in your car and drive to work
Step 2: About two blocks away from the building make a sharp right or left into any obstacle that looks like it can cause major damage
Step 3: Jump out of the car before it hits "the tree." Not only is safety your biggest concern, but you also want to look like a bad ass while doing so.
Step 4: Tell work you have been in a major accident. Make sure to mention how you heroically jumped out of the car and did a ninja roll though, not only will they understand but they will also be like,c "Wow, what a guy."
Success Rate: 84% Difficulty: 8/10
4. The Liam Neeson
Requires: A gun, a friend
Step 1: Call Work and begin heavy breathing. This will act as a hook your manager is already thinking to themselves "What's going happen? Is this the end? Does he die?"
Step 2: Have your friend repeat this line "I don't know who you are, but I will find you and I will kill you. Also your little buddy can't go to work today he is....a little tied up." Your manager is now definitely hooked in this plot and is unsure why she is being hunted down. Your manager, however, is not trying to die today no further questions will be asked.
Step 3: In case step two didn't work, have your friend fire bullets into the air and start screaming "My baby, my poor baby!"
Success rate: 87% Difficulty: 3/10
3. Pet Emergency
Requires: A dog, a cat or some kind of animal that is lovable and sad when it dies in movies.
Step 1: Buy animal
Step 2: Throw it into traffic
Step 3: Call out
Success rate: 92% Difficulty: 4.7/10
2. Family Emergency
Requires: A sibling, preferably a little sister.
Step 1: adopt small girl or use your little sister
Step 2: Throw her into traffic
Step 3: Call out
Success rate: 96% Difficulty: 7.4/10
1. I JUST WON TICKETS TO SEE OPRAH
Requires: a personal history of loving Oprah; I would mention that you love Oprah when you first start working.
Step 1: Call work screaming, "I GOT THE MAGIC TICKET, IM GOING TO SEE OPRAH"
Step 2: Hang up
Step 3: Get ready for some conversations about Oprah on your next shift
Success rate: 100% Difficulty 2/10