Significant others ruin your stuff

Most people who keep a love interest around have stories of deceit and destruction. These stories can range in their horror, from minor broken dishes to cars going through houses (this is a real story that happened near where I live; the poor girl’s boyfriend was driving her car and crashed into a house. A house). My own sister has had a laptop ruined by an “accidentally” spilled drink.

They spend all your money

Significant others love to spend time with you. But for some reason, they get bored with Netflix, leftovers and boxed wine. Date night, movies, parties and bars, they always want to go somewhere and those “somewheres” cost money. This is in addition to the endless gifts for holidays and random “just thinking of you” surprises that are a must.

They always want to know where you are

Anyone I know who has a bf/gf gets worried when they don't hear from them and their counterpart worries when the reverse happens. They always want to know what you did today, where you were, who you saw--step off. I am an independent adult, and honestly, I don't want to tell you I spent my whole Saturday in underwear, binge-watching Scandal and eating take-out.

I don't like sharing

I grew up with a little sister-this is the one person who will always remind you what isn't fair and that you need to share. Now that I live a few hundred miles from her, its nice to have things all to myself. A boyfriend would ruin this luxury. They want your time, your food, your bed; they will even steal the unconditional love of your parents and pets (traitors).

I already have a pet

I know I’ve been ragging on the significant others out there, and they do provide some benefits--like love and attention--two things I am in constant need of. Lucky for me, I invested in something much fluffier. Having a pet is actually much better than any boyfriend or girlfriend. They can’t fight with you, and they always think you are the best (which you are). Dogs are the best because they constantly desire your attention, but if you aren’t a dog person, any other animal will do.