If you haven't heard of camp college, please allow me to tell you about the greatest thing since Frank's Fries.
Camp college is the week before classes start, when everyone returns to DePauw. While the freshmen are off getting oriented, the rest of us are treated to a week of perfect, blissful laziness. In fact, I would have come up with more than 4 reasons, but working any harder just wouldn't have been in the spirit of camp college.
1. “So how was your summer?” It’s not always easy to come up with things to say on the spot. That’s why I’m a writer. Fortunately, even though coming back to school means having to reacquaint myself with hundreds of people, camp college has armed me with the five words that save me the trouble of having to be clever or interesting: “So, how was your summer?” Bam. For the first few weeks of school, that simple question works as a free pass to initiate a conversation with anyone, regardless of whether or not you actually have anything to say. Sure, it’s unoriginal, but that’s sure as hell not going to stop everyone else from doing it.
2. All Chilling, No Schooling. How great would school be if it wasn’t for that part where you have to go get educated? Camp college provides an answer to that rhetorical question, and the answer is ‘awesome’. School without school is, quite frankly, a Utopia. The only other time when everyone is on campus but doesn’t have work to do is graduation, which is marred by depressing things like final exams, goodbyes and parents. Camp college is all the fun of DePauw without that horrible feeling that you might be learning something. Don’t your brain cells deserve to be relaxed as you slowly kill them off?
3. Ginchy T Shirts. Quick, what's the only reason why anyone ever joins a Greek house? Parties? Networking opportunities? A need to find social belonging? No, dear reader, don't be stupid. It's all about the t-shirts. Many greek houses make their own camp college shirts just to commemorate the week. It’s that important. I’d post a link to the page where you can order my house’s, except this isn’t Fox News and I’ve got an ounce of journalistic integrity. Anyway, more t-shirts means less laundry. Less laundry means less global warming. I've accumulated enough fraternity t-shirts that I can now go three weeks without having to wash them. You’re welcome, Gaia.
4. Porch Parties, Yo. The porch party was invented to combine the two best things: porches and parties. Indoor parties are usually crowded and too loud for you to ask everyone how their summers were. Do the healthy thing and go give yourself alcohol poisoning outside like God intended. Plus, how are people passing by supposed to know your house is cool if you don’t make a public display of how much fun you’re having?