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20 Timeless 'Golden Girls' One-Liners Perfect To Drop In 21st-Century Conversations

These four golden ladies always had a comeback for everything.

Zachary Kyle Winograd

Mar 20, 2019

The Narrative

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20 Timeless 'Golden Girls' One-Liners Perfect To Drop In 21st-Century Conversations

Touchstone Television

Since it's premiere in 1985, "The Golden Girls" has managed it maintain it's popularity for over 33 years and counting. Like "Sex and the City," millennials love to decide who's who in their friend groups (I'm definitely a Dorothy with a hint of Blanche). There's also hundreds and hundreds of merchandise items, T-shirts, and DVD collections to celebrate your love for "the Golden Girls" — there was even a "Golden Girls" restaurant in New York City (which is sadly, now closed).

Though the best part of "The Golden Girls" wasn't just the girls themselves, it was the incredible writing by Susan Harris (the show's creator) and the writing team as a whole that brought the girls to life. Here are a collection of twenty quotes to use in your everyday life, print one out and stick it on your wall.

1. "I could vomit just looking at you!" - Dorothy

2. "Eat dirt and die, trash" - Blanche

3. "Not for you, nursey nurse nurse nurse!" - Rose

4. "Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless!" - Sophia

5. "No, Blanche, she's upset because they keep changing the taste of Coke" - Dorothy

6. D: "Woo! it is really coming down!" R: "What's coming down?"D: "The Liberace marquee at Ceaser's Palace" - Dorothy & Rose

7. D: "Oh, I'm so nervous. Have you ever given a eulogy?" R: "You mean at a funeral?"D: "No, Rose at a pie eating contest!" - Dorothy & Rose

8. D: "Your kidney?"B: "My kidney"R: "Why would she need a kidney?"D: "TO FEED THE CAT, ROSE!" - Dorothy, Blanche & Rose

"Thank you, you bed hopping relic" - Sophia

10. “Isn't it a fact that you have a drawer full of retirement home brochures and you're just waiting for the first sign of dribble on your mother's chin to lock her away forever?” - Rose

11. B: “Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go take a long, hot, steamy bath, with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms.” S: “You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?” - Blanche & Sophia

12."If that doesn't fill the void, nothing will" - Dorothy

13. “Jean is a nice person, she happens to like girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs. Frankly, I'd rather live with a lesbian than a cat. Unless a lesbian sheds that I don't know.” - Sophia

14. "Oh, Rose, please. I don’t even know why fools fall in love.” - Dorothy

15. "Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray fro brains" - Dorothy

16. "Go hug a landmine" - Dorothy

17. "Stanley, you truly are one chromosome away from being a potato" - Dorothy

18. B: "You no-good, backstabbing Jezebel. I demand you show me that paper!"D: "I'm sorry, flattery doesn't work!" - Dorothy and Blanche

19. "Can you believe that backstabbing slut?" - Rose

20. "CONDOMS, ROSE! CONDOMS! CONDOMS! CONDOMS!" - Dorothy

8 Things I Realized After My First Semester In College

Actually, Kylie Jenner, 2018 is the year of realizing things.

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The first semester of college is famous for being one of the most difficult transitions of one's young adult life. You're thrown into a completely new area where the majority of the people surrounding you are strangers in an academic environment that's much more challenging then what you've grown accustomed to for the past twelve years. On top of that, you probably share a room with another person (or even multiple people) on the lumpiest "mattress" you've ever slept on.

With this change comes a lot of questions: what do I want to major in? What am I passionate about? Is what I'm passionate about something I'm actually good at? Why does the bathroom smell like cranberry juice and vodka? What is that thing at the bottom of the shower drain?

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8 GIFs That Are College AF

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College is tough, we all know. Here are 8 gifs you will 99% relate to if you are in college.

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20 Timeless 'Golden Girls' One-Liners Perfect To Drop In 21st-Century Conversations

These four golden ladies always had a comeback for everything.

In This Article:

1. "I could vomit just looking at you!" - Dorothy

2. "Eat dirt and die, trash" - Blanche

3. "Not for you, nursey nurse nurse nurse!" - Rose

4. "Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless!" - Sophia

5. "No, Blanche, she's upset because they keep changing the taste of Coke" - Dorothy

6. D: "Woo! it is really coming down!" R: "What's coming down?"D: "The Liberace marquee at Ceaser's Palace" - Dorothy & Rose

​7. D: "Oh, I'm so nervous. Have you ever given a eulogy?" R: "You mean at a funeral?"D: "No, Rose at a pie eating contest!" - Dorothy & Rose

8. D: "Your kidney?"B: "My kidney"R: "Why would she need a kidney?"D: "TO FEED THE CAT, ROSE!" - Dorothy, Blanche & Rose

"Thank you, you bed hopping relic" - Sophia

10. ​“Isn't it a fact that you have a drawer full of retirement home brochures and you're just waiting for the first sign of dribble on your mother's chin to lock her away forever?” - Rose​

11. B: “Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go take a long, hot, steamy bath, with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms.” S: “You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?” - Blanche & Sophia

12."If that doesn't fill the void, nothing will" - Dorothy

13. “Jean is a nice person, she happens to like girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs. Frankly, I'd rather live with a lesbian than a cat. Unless a lesbian sheds that I don't know.” - Sophia

14. "Oh, Rose, please. I don’t even know why fools fall in love.” - Dorothy

15. "Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray fro brains" - Dorothy

16. "Go hug a landmine" - Dorothy

17. "Stanley, you truly are one chromosome away from being a potato" - Dorothy

18. B: "You no-good, backstabbing Jezebel. I demand you show me that paper!"D: "I'm sorry, flattery doesn't work!" - Dorothy and Blanche

19. "Can you believe that backstabbing slut?" - Rose

20. "CONDOMS, ROSE! CONDOMS! CONDOMS! CONDOMS!" - Dorothy

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Being on a first name basis with campus police and administrators.

1. When all your friends are hanging out and having fun and you’re stuck working desk.

2. When your decorations are due by midnight and it’s 11:30 PM and you’re still painting.

3. And the night before your residents all move in you’re running around taping up door tags in your hall.

4. But you know better than anyone that by week two, some wasted stranger is going to rip them down anyway.

5. Then having to change your hallway theme again during midterm week.

6. Roommate conflicts that happen before the semester even starts.

7. When you’re finally getting ready to go to bed and you stumble upon a random incident.

8. The tedious documentation that follows an already overwhelming incident.

9. Parents calling you about an issue with their student, and you’re wondering how they got your phone number in the first place.

10. You need to come up with a fun, educational programming idea, but you know nobody is going to show up without the promise of food.

11. Running into a resident at a bar or a party.

12. You remind yourself on a daily basis that you do not have to snap every time you agree with something someone says.

13. That awkward 3 A.M. encounter when your resident knocks on your door, half naked, asking for a condom.

14. Doing your nightly rounds of the building and trying to figure out where that odor of marijuana is coming from.

15. When the resident who has been documented on three separate occasions has bloodshot eyes tells you they haven’t been smoking tonight.

16. Being on a first-name basis with campus police and administrators.

17. Handling an incident that you thought only happened on TV or in the movies.

18. When you’re halfway through the semester and you see residents who have never left their room before.

19. Fire alarms are absolutely terrifying, but it has nothing to do with the possibility of there being a fire…

20. Training. More training. And continued training.

Actually, Kylie Jenner, 2018 is the year of realizing things.

Waking Up Early in College is So Much Harder

You Have to Get Used to Walking Everywhere

Fuzzy Socks are the Cure to All Problems

Take Every Opportunity to Get Free Food

It's Okay to Gain the "Freshman Fifteen"

Invest in Vitamins and Supplements

Making Time to Clean is Essential

Drinking Water is Actually Important

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1. Me after every class

2. If you really care about your grades

3. When you get a new homework assignment

4. When people ask what you're going to do after college

5. When you see people who don't study and get good grades

6. We're all broke here

7. FREE FOOD IS FREE FOOD!

8. When it seems like everyone in class is smart - EXCEPT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP PROJECT!!

Other than knowledge and all those important things

How to take stairs.

Caffeine is your friend.

How to study.

Finding free food.

How to take a nap anywhere.

How to appreciate sleep.

How to procrastinate productively.

Surprise: This is not on the syllabus

1. As a freshman, one does get to be called “freshman” by upperclassmen when they walk to parties in a mob of people.

2. Some of the best stories happen after 2 a.m.

3. Upperclassmen live for meal swipes from freshman because they are poor and need free food.

4. People are struggling just as much as you are so you're not alone.

5. You will never take privacy or personal space for granted ever again.

6. You are not the only one who has slept on the community bathroom floor after a night out.

7. Skipping class for Netflix is a valid excuse.

7. D: "Oh, I'm so nervous. Have you ever given a eulogy?" R: "You mean at a funeral?"D: "No, Rose at a pie eating contest!" - Dorothy & Rose

10. “Isn't it a fact that you have a drawer full of retirement home brochures and you're just waiting for the first sign of dribble on your mother's chin to lock her away forever?” - Rose

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