I am tired.

Surprise, surprise, right? I've yawned goodness knows how many times before deciding to place my hands to this keyboard and type goodness knows what. I've made it a few lines before scratching any sentences that comes to mind right off the page, and honestly I can't remember half of them the second they disappear. I am chasing some writing prompt apparently so elusive it doesn't even exist in my brain, and at this point, who's to say if I'm not electronically scribbling nonsense of which I'll never get to the end.

Life is busy that way.

It doesn't slow down, it doesn't take turns, it doesn't look before the leaps. Life is forward progression, the ready or not, here it comes, living-in-a-constant-state-of-the-embodiment-of-frazzled brand of breathing. It sneaks up on me every once in a while, catches me off guard, swaps my free time for activity when I'm not looking, aims a kick at the knees when I'm turned around. Life is a lot. It just is. That's part of the novelty of it, I suppose. Life is funny like that.

So what's the point of pondering life like this?

Like I said: life doesn't slow down. Life hits you full force. That's because life isn't hiding. It isn't tricking you into believing it is something it's not. Life is taking in a deep breath, pursuing your passions, feeling your emotions play out. In the midst of its barrage of daily activities and hiccups in the system, life stares you right in the face. It dares you to look back. Life commands you, simply by way of being, to evaluate yourself and what you are doing. Is the ridiculousness that is the way you choose to live your life worth what it takes? When you stumble into your room and hurl yourself into bed at the end of the day, seconds away from losing consciousness, are you proud of your day and days? Are you ready to bear the burden of the next? Are you motivated to start the cycle over again as soon as you open your eyes?

Life doesn't allow for shortcuts to the next level. Everything that you do here and now will keep building and building upon itself until you have gotten somewhere. The little moments in which we realize how tired we are end up being the little built-in spaces for evaluation. If we don't like where we are at or what we are doing, we are suddenly motivated to seek change and to find answers elsewhere. If we realize that no matter the struggle, what we have done has been worth it, then evaluation can end with renewed fire for the days to come.

Life uses tiredness as a method of helping us cope. It reminds us who we are, reminds us that we're human, reminds us that we live full lives of activity, reminds us that we've earned our rest. It makes us think, sometimes with joy, sometimes with painful consideration. It anchors us to our own individual realities and asks us the important questions even if we haven't thought of them ourselves.

I am tired. I am sleepily ecstatic over what I get to do each day. Admittedly, some days are better and easier than others, but as tired as I may be, I am motivated to wake back up in the morning and live the life another day brings.

Bring it on, tiredness. Right after I get a little sleep.