If Tomorrow Never Comes

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Granny, if tomorrow never comes, I want you to know...
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As Buddha says, "The trouble is, is that you think you have time." I guess I've always thought that, "I have plenty of time, I'll do that tomorrow." But the thing is, I've had to realize that I'm not promised tomorrow - no one is. As hard as it may be to say or do some things, I've come to see that the things that are the most difficult to do must be done because I don't want to wake up one day and realize that I never said something that I should have said. So, before it's too late...

Granny,

I'm writing you this letter so that if tomorrow never comes and I don't have another chance to see you and hear you say, "My, my, my..." I want you to know a few things.

The bond that I have with you is far stronger than the bond most people could ever dream of having with their parent, grandparent, or, if they're lucky enough, great-grandparent. From the time I was little, you were the one who stepped up and offered to babysit me whenever grandma or my parents couldn't. You caved into my request to let me help you make your special chocolate chip cookies only to catch me licking the spoon each time I thought I was being so sneaky and wouldn't get caught. You watched hundreds of hours of Say Yes to the Dress with me on Friday night and even though you say you had better things to do, I know you loved every second of nit-picking each dress that was tried on. There are countless other memories I have with you from purchasing my first vehicle and hearing you say that we were now Ford Fusion twins to constantly hearing you say, "Speed it up, we've got places to be" while cruising down the back roads in your Fusion. But, my favorite memories of all happened all the time when I went up to your house, grabbed a few chocolate chip cookies, sat in the chair facing the west while you sat in the chair facing the east, and talked for hours about anything and everything. It was in those moments that I felt the most understood. I could really use more of your "let's evaluate things" talk as things at school and in life continue to get crazier.

I want you to know that even though you've told me multiple times I'm pushing myself too hard this semester, I think you might have been right, even though I always disagreed. But, I guess I did that because I didn't want you to think I wasn't strong enough to do something I signed up for.

I like to think of myself as pretty strong-willed and independent person, but you are so much stronger, far stronger than you give yourself or anyone else gives you credit for being. You're the person I've modeled my own inner-strength from. I don't know many people who could have gone through a fatal car crash only to walk away with a broken neck and survive, then a few years later be diagnosed with leukemia and recover once again, and now be diagnosed with colon cancer. You are an incredible person and so strong, I honestly have no idea how you've done it all. Maybe we're alike in that we put on a brave front for others when on the inside, we're struggling. I don't know for sure, but as your granddaughter, I've gotten to know you and I think I'm right.

So, I want you to know that it's okay to not be strong all the time. I'm here for you, the whole family is here for you. We all understand that you may have finally met your match and will let go soon of your fight sooner than anyone would like. However, we know that you'll be going home to God and Pops without any pain and that's the most important thing. It won't be the same without you when you do pass, not at all. There will always be a void in my heart and a longing to come see you and just hear your voice tell me to stop biting my nails or that you could use some of my cinnamon rolls. You have become far more than a grandmother to me, you're a friend and a good one at that. I'm so thankful to have been your great-granddaughter. I actually am at a loss for words of how to accurately explain how much you mean to me but just trust me when I say that I love you to the moon and back.

There are so many other things that I could tell you but I think you've gotten the idea that I love you and I'm thankful for each memory I've shared with you. I wish there was a way that we could still keep our promise of picking out my wedding dress together or having you meet and interrogate the man of my dreams. However, I know that you'll be watching down on me, guiding me through everything life throws my way, and making sure that I'm as strong as you have always been. So, if tomorrow never comes, know that I'll be devastated but will be at peace knowing that you heard how much you have meant to me.





Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

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When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

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Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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9 Reasons Your Grandparents Are The Best Gifts You'll Ever Receive

They love us unconditionally and are always there to lend a helping hand.

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Grandparents are special. They are the leaders and foundations of our families. They love us unconditionally and are always there to lend a helping hand. The spoil us way too often! My grandparents mean the world to me. The picture above is one of my favorite photos with both my mother and my grandfather when I was a little girl. They are some of the best people in my life and have always set a good example for me. Cherish them while you can because they won't always be around! Here are nine reasons your grandparents are the best gifts you'll ever receive!

1. They give the best advice.

2. They have a lot of life experience and are willing to share it with you.

3. Their smile makes your heart warm.

4. They are so intelligent.

5. They have the best stories to share.

6. They are a great example of love.

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