To The College Girl Going Through Sorority Recruitment

To The College Girl Going Through Sorority Recruitment

Recruitment isn't about the outfit you wear or if you wing your eyeliner that day; it is about finding where you belong
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Two years ago, I was you.

I was finishing packing my bags and boxes that were soon going to follow me to my new university. Not only was I going to be starting college, but I was mentally prepping myself for what was going to be one of the most stressful and rewarding weeks of my life—sorority recruitment.

Everyone has their own idea of what Greek life is really like. To be completely honest, there is no one answer to what it is like. It depends on where you are, who you are, what people you surround yourself with, what chapter you are in, and the type of experience that you are hoping to get out of it all. Being Greek can be the best or the worst time of your college experience—essentially it is exactly what you make of it.

If you are anything like me, you might have a lot of fears and uncertainties about sorority recruitment. You don't know what to expect, what is going to happen, or how you are supposed to act. What I can tell you is this: be yourself.

I know, I know. This is probably the most cliche advice you've heard, but it is so completely true. If you are going into the Greek system to find your home away from home and to surround yourself with people who share your values and passions, then you have to show them all who you really are. Amidst trying to make a recruiter like you and leaving a good impression, you really just need to give them all a reason to remember you for you.

It's not the outfit you wear, if your hair is curled or straight, or if you decided to wing your eyeliner that day or not. Recruitment is about finding your home and you will find it so long as you just be you. I know that putting yourself out there can be intimidating and often can make you uncertain or insecure, but it is the only way to truly get the most out of recruitment and out of the Greek system.

When I went through recruitment, I did not think that I was going to get a bid into a chapter. I didn't think that I was going to find what everyone talked about. Heck, I didn't even know how many chapters were on my campus or what half of the Greek letters meant (thanks, geometry, algebra, and calculus for teaching me some at least). Somehow I found my place though. Among the hundreds of other young women going through recruitment, I clicked with one chapter and never wanted to leave. Running there on bid day was a moment I will never forget.

I know that this all sounds like the least helpful advice you could get but it is the best way to find the chapter you belong in. It is okay to be nervous—trust me, most recruiters are new too, so they are just as nervous as you are. It is okay if you spill the water; just make sure to always take the drink (please, your recruiter will immediately love you so long as you let them drink something). Ask questions, be genuine, and just let yourself have fun. Recruitment is a long, hard week, but it can be an incredible week all the same.

Let yourself relax and just enjoy the time that you have. You'll never get to have this experience again, and at the end of the week you will start making the friends that will become your bridesmaids—I know I have. It might take a while for you to really find your home, but that is okay. It took me a year before I found the person that made me realize that I made the right choice in my chapter, but now that I've found her I don't know how I lived without her before now.

So, to the young woman about to go through sorority recruitment. Wherever you are, whoever you are, know that there is a chapter out there for you. Don't give up and never get discouraged. Be yourself and never look back.

Here's to the best years of your life. Welcome to the sisterhood.

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle: Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay.

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying. What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense. I've heard it all, "He was cute, why didn't you like him?" "You didn't even give him a chance!" "You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous; however, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well. Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

THIS IS CRUCIAL FOR FINDING A NICE GUY. It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault. If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs." Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him. If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it. He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush. Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling. :)

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I Didn't Join A Panhellenic Sorority

It's okay if you don't join a panhellenic sorority. Sometimes a different organization can turn out to be the best thing.

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Before going to college I was faced with a dilemma, should I rush? I wanted to rush just for the social aspect, I thought it would be my best shot at making a bunch of friends. However, deep down I knew that greek life really wasn't me. I didn't want to do something if I wasn't one hundred percent behind it. There was a part of me that did want to be in a sorority but the other part of me really didn't want to rush. Let me be clear, I don't think Greek life is bad, I just think it wasn't for me. I talked to my brother and sister-in-law about this because they both were in Greek life at the college I attend now; they told me that they didn't think I would like it either.

What my brother and sister-in-law told me that I might like was, a Christian sorority called Sigma Phi Lambda. When they described it to me it seemed like exactly what I was wanting. As soon as I got to college I sought them out; and I went to their recruitment nights. I loved it! It was exactly what I was looking for. I ended up joining. This sorority brought me an amazing group of friends! Most importantly, I have joined the perfect sorority for me! A few things I liked most about Sigma Phi Lambda was the people were so welcoming, it was more low key and laid back, I was still able to have a big and a "Pham", we still did lots of sorority things whilst also having activities that strengthened us on our walks with the Lord, and I gained so many sisters that I now have strong relationships with. Sigma Phi Lambda gave me so many friends and something to be involved in on campus. They gave me somewhere to belong and I am so glad I chose to join them.

Rushing may be exactly what you need when you go to college, but if it's not that is okay. Just join something that makes you happy. Join an organization that helps you grow and surrounds you with people that you want to be around. I promise when you get to college that there is an organization for just about everything, find the one that fits you. No matter what you choose I promise it's good. Just make sure you choose what is right for you.

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