You have always known this person as either your mom or dad. They didn’t turn into the parent who had a drinking problem until much later. You saw them as your rock, your go to, the person who loves you most and would do anything for you.
As you got older, things changed. You would realize that it wasn’t normal to have a drink at all times or that drinking at 9 am was not normal. The social norm in your house was for your parent to become drunk every night, while other kid’s parents might have ONE beer or none at all.
Special events such as a band, chorus, or sport performance were rarely attended by this parent. If they did, it was either really early in the day or they would show up slightly intoxicated. Never were they fully present and able to see how badly you wished to make them proud.
For most parents with alcoholism, the drinking doesn’t just plateau, it advances over time. It comes to the point where they are no longer functioning. Instead of being drunk every night, it is for the majority of the day. They can not stop. Instead of being the kid that is supposed to be cared for and taken care of, you end up growing up fast to the realization that you need to take care of yourself so that you can watch over your parent.
The most difficult part about having a parent with alcoholism is watching the person who is supposed to be there to love and support you choose alcohol over you. Knowing that they won’t see the problem or understand just how much it affects you, it breaks your heart. They are still the kind and loving person that you call mom or dad, but they aren't mentally there.