To you,

You, who must understand what I mean when I say "to the person who gets addiction." You know the struggle it is to watch someone you love fall apart, maybe not in your arms but in your heart. You know what I meant from the start. You know the agony it is to watch someone become so sick you can't help them.

In my case, it was not one, but both of my parents. It wasn't until I switched to my fifth (and last) school around age ten that I begun to understand that everything I had thought I'd known about a family was a lie. Families didn't move around like I did. Families didn't have private time with other adults. Families didn't have pictures of a dad holding a baby in one hand, and a beer in the other. Most importantly, families didn't move to Florida to try and escape addiction, only to find it hitting harder elsewhere.

It escaped my mind that this wasn't normal behavior. That I didn't have a normal childhood. My parents loved me inevitably, and would do anything for me- regardless of their addictions. It escaped my mind that anything, anything at all, was wrong with our family, until the day my dad and I left my mom.

It's a strange feeling knowing that your parent chose drugs over you. The words were never spoken, and they never will be, but the ultimatum had been placed on the table the night before we left: come home, or we'll leave.

It had been both of my parents intentions to quit drugs, but the problem with a addiction is there are certain catalyzers, and having a partner who is also an addict makes it a ticking time bomb of the situation. My father has been sober for 10 years this past February. He was awarded a bracelet at Christmas engraved with the date we left, and the words "10 years sober- proud of you!" My dad never cries, but he did with this present.

I know that having an addict in the family is hard. It breaks your heart to think that they can't stop smoking, drinking, shooting - whatever it is that they do - and you wish that they loved you more than that. I have cried many times wishing my mother could stop, and could love me more than whatever she was doing. I'll also let you in on a little secret: crying is a waste of time. They'll either quit or they won't, but the tears are worthless when it comes to an addict.

I hope you make peace with whoever it is, because it isn't their fault. Just having them know that you're there for them will make their life so much easier. I hope they get sober for you, so you don't have to worry anymore. I hope you don't take it personally if they can't do the last one for you. I hope you live and learn from them, knowing how hard it is to take the kind of hurt they bring to you.

I hope you learn to let go.

I hope your family never understands the words "to the person who gets addiction." I hope it ends with you.

You may not understand it now, but getting addiction gives you an insight most people will never have. It shows you how to love in a tough situation. You grew up faster than most people, because you had to.

Sincerely,

Someone who gets it, too.