I’m sorry I took you for granted.
It was always about me and never really about you. When I should have been asking how your day went, I was telling you about mine. When I should have been asking how you were doing, I was too busy explaining how I was doing. When I should have been picking you up, I was too busy bringing you down.
Then one day, you were sick of it and how could I blame you? But I did. Once again it was about how I felt and not about you. I made up excuses as to what happened and who’s fault it was, but deep down I knew exactly why you did it. Why you no longer made me a constant in your life anymore. You were sick of feeling like you didn’t matter to me, when really you mattered to me the most.
But I didn’t realize it until it was too late. I realized it when one day I woke up and couldn’t tell you about the crazy dream I had. I realized it when that one song was playing in the car and you weren’t there to look over at and start singing obnoxiously with. I realized it when I did something embarrassing and you weren’t at my side to jokingly laugh at me and bring it up every two seconds. But I really realized it when the next chapter in my life started and you were no longer a name in my book.
I continued on writing no matter how hard it was, I wrote the next page, and the page after that, and the page after that without you in it and then one day you were mentioned. I found myself saying your name out loud again as if nothing ever happened to us and that hit me. Hard. I would always see or hear things that reminded me of you, but never would I speak of them. Until one day, I couldn’t keep the memories pushed away back inside my mind and all at once they flooded my brain. All I wanted to do was to call you and apologize for everything, but I convinced myself it was too late.
So, I kept going about my days, but slowly I started to realize that it’s never too late and the hardest part is working up the courage to say something. And when the courage comes I hope that you accept my apology and that one day you’ll be in my book again, but if not I hope that yours is being written how you want because you deserve everything this world has to offer you.