To the person cancer took too soon,

You never thought it would happen to you. I didn’t either, at least I prayed it wouldn’t. But in the blink of an eye, while we were tossing our heads back laughing at anything and everything, cancer was seeping into your body, creeping slowly from one place to the next and burrowing itself into the most unforgiving places.

The doctors caught it; but unfortunately, it was entirely too late. And from that moment on, it was as if life had slipped out of our grip and we were free-falling without a parachute. Life became a blur for the next couple of months. Everyone going through the motions of everyday life, knowing that a rough estimate of time was defining your last few months of life. You insisted we never cried or acted sad, because why waste the time we have grieving while you were still alive to hug us and hold our hands? As I’m sure you knew, I disobeyed your wishes, as did we all, while we cried in the room over from the one you sat in.

I wasn’t at the hospital that day. When I heard the news, it didn’t seem real. I felt as if I could still walk into your domain, A.K.A. the kitchen, and see you standing there at the stove eagerly awaiting me to inform you of how my uneventful day was.

I selfishly yearn to hear your voice again. To answer the phone on my birthday knowing that you’re on the other end waiting to sing “Happy Birthday,” no matter how many times we all begged you not to. I wish you could’ve been there when I played my last tennis match, graduated or went off to college. I wish you could be here to support me and talk me through the tough times because you always knew the right thing to say. And I wish you could be there in the future to drink coffee with me on the balcony and watch the rain drip off the awning.

You always joked about being old, and although your years were cut too short, you were as wise as they came. But your soul wasn’t a day older than 16. Life was better when you were here to tell me everything would be all right. Something about the way you said it made me trust you, even when I was beyond the years of knowing that scrapes and scratches weren’t healed by kisses. Your presence was like a safe zone and your love was never ending.

You’re just as missed today as you were the day I got the news. I still long to walk the beach with you just one more time. It’s painful knowing that I won’t have you here to hug me on the most important days of my life. But I’ll rest knowing that you’re watching over me on those days as well as the worst days and every other day in between. I thank you for everything you ever taught me, your knowledge was like no other. The love that you showed every person that walked into your life was genuine and unconditional. I strive to be like you; a person that is looked up to, respected and loved. I still think about you teaching me how to cook and how much I miss baking with you. I will always miss you, forever and always.

Love,

Me