I recently came across this Tumblr post:
This really related to me because I've been there. I was very suicidal in high school. I was put into therapy and on anti-depressants when I was 15.
I had weeks, sometimes months, where I honestly didn't care if I lived anymore. This sounds terrible, but I'm just being real here. I did not care if I didn't wake up when I went to sleep. My grades fell into oblivion. I wasn't a straight A student but I wasn't a C student either. I got my first almost D (my teacher rounded up my 69.9 because he felt sorry for me) my junior year. The future seemed dim, dark, and unsure. But now, I'm on the other side. I've got my footing. I have direction. So this is for all the people that didn't think they would make it past their 18th birthday.
Hey, friend. How are you?
No, I genuinely mean, how are you? Not the statement everyone says when they just want to have a pleasant conversation. How's your heart, your head doing today? I know that the heaviness seems almost unbearable at times like your chest is going to explode from the physical pressure inside. I'm really happy you got out of bed today, that you came to see me today. I know your bed is your safe zone, but I want to make this a safe zone too, okay? Are you okay with that? I want your permission to continue.
So, I want to start with what you feel like you have going for you. Is it school? If you graduated high school, fantastic. I'm so proud of you. If you dropped out, that's okay. You can always go get your GED when you feel ready. If you went to college then dropped out, that's okay. You tried something new, and that takes a lot for someone like you and me. College is hard. School, in general, is hard. But guess what? GPA's don't define you. You know what I have right now? Definitely not my high school GPA! That number is not who you are.
Body image issues plague everyone, some more than others. Do you feel comfortable in your body? I didn't think I ever would. I was always comparing my body to the girl next to me. But you know what? She's probably comparing her body to yours! And that number on the scale? Guess what? DOES. NOT. DEFINE. YOU. No matter if you struggle with being overweight, or underweight, you are not that number. You are a person of worth and value.
You will find a job. It doesn't have to be your forever job. But you will find a job, to gain experience and earn some money.
You will find love. It will come to you when you least expect it. You will find someone who loves you for you and all of your flaws. Someone who calms you during your panic attacks holds you in your depression and fights for you to love yourself as much as they love you.
I am speaking this over your life with the authority of God. He loves you. If you choose not to believe in Him, that is your choice and you are free to make it. But know from me that He has an undying love for His children. That if you want to choose to reach out to Him, He will help you out of your pit of struggle. Will it all disappear like magic? Will life suddenly get super easy and be all rainbows and unicorns? No. But you will have an unconditional ally. A God who died for you, so you can be in a relationship with Him. He loves you in your highest joy, and in your lowest depression.
So, friend, I know you didn't expect to be on this earth this long. But here you are, stronger because of the storms you have weathered. Welcome. I'm so glad you can join me. Know that no matter what you have done, or didn't do, life isn't impossible to live anymore. It may seem like it at times, and it will get hard again, but you will become stronger than you've ever known. You have a place in this world. You are not alone.
You are not alone.