Your comments have never really left my conscience.
Nobody wants to be called fat when they are a child, but I was the pawn in your little game. This "little game" of yours has cost me a continuum of insecurity and most frustrating of all, your comments over the years have contributed to several stays in a treatment center for various problems like eating disorders, anxiety, and depression.
I can't help to think that if I wasn't continuously called out for being overweight as a teenager, I would feel a little bit better about myself today. There is only so much someone can take. When I was 13, you told me my body was disgusting, that my nose was too big, and I should get a subscription to "Proactive." I for sure was not very skinny, didn't have the best skin, and my nose is not what you would call "small." I'm still not sure if you were just looking for someone to tear down, or if you just had nothing better to do, but I hope you know that your comments have affected my life for the last 10 years.
In 10th grade, I suffered a bad relapse of a previous eating disorder. It was ironic that when I lost so much weight, your hurtful words stopped. I was thinner, but nobody knew that I suffered from bulimia. I finally fit into those skinny jeans everybody was wearing. But, what you didn't know, is that my hair was falling out, my teeth were unhealthy, and my body was weak. Why was it that it had to take my finger being shoved down my throat to stop your comments? Some of you even made it a point to come up to me and tell me how good I looked... I think that was the worst of all.
I'm currently trying to battle my fourth cycle of an eating disorder. I've had them on and off since the first time one of you called me fat. The words of everybody who has ever made comments about my body circle in my head every time I eat. I picture the food I'm eating going into my body and feel disgusted. One of my biggest fears is gaining weight... I hear all of your comments in my head every time I step on the scale.
I am not completely blaming you for what I have gone through, but you definitely have contributed to my insecurities. I hope you are better people now, and you think wisely before you decide to talk. I hope you have found a purpose in life that is beyond what you did ten years ago.
I hope you remember what hurtful things you said to me, but I hope you use it to teach your future children to be kind.