Dear Mom,

For the past 18 years, all I ever thought about was leaving. Getting out of the house, going to college, having that first taste of total independence - those were the things that rattled around in my head. As I look back on those 18 years, I realize how ignorant, selfish, and entitled I lived up to be. Running away when you tried to kiss my cheek in elementary school, refusing to wear clothes that weren't "popular" in middle school and arguing over trifling things in high school were what our relationship revolved around.

You're the type of mom that shows her love not through words, but through actions. Making a home-cooked dinner every single night without fail, even when you're exhausted and drowning in your own work. Finding time to sit down and talk to me about life, giving advice at every turn. You uncovered ways to turn everything into a lesson, which I would typically let float into one ear and out of the other.

Mom, I don't always like to admit this, but we're very similar. Opposites attract but likes repel, and I think that's why we clashed so often as I grew up. Little things irked us both, riling us up separately before we would blow up in each other's directions.

I said mean things during the heat of the moment. I picked fights with you. I rolled my eyes when you tried to show your love. I ignored you when you said things like "good night", "have a good day", and "be safe".

Mom, I've never told you this, but thank you. Thank you for all you've done. Not only did you physically create me to form the person I am today, but you mentally and emotionally prepared me for the world that awaits. You've been my constant support system, sometimes in the foreground but always in the background. You're there for me if I need it, whenever I need it. I know that you'll be there for me unreservedly.

Thank you for raising me to be the person I am today. It is because of your strong will, determination, and insight that I am respectful, humble, loving, caring, and compassionate beyond belief. Somehow, you’ve managed to instill the most tender yet tough aspects of yourself into me, and I never realized how grateful I am for you.

When I'm older, I'll know how to raise my own children. I want them to be just like you, Mom.

It's been six months since I've given you a hug. Six months since I've had one of your home-cooked meals, nine months since I've woken up to you softly saying "good morning" through the door crack, one year since I've celebrated your birthday with you. I haven't been home for so long, and I never realized how much I need you in my life until now. I miss you, and I'll be there soon.

Mom, thank you.

Thank you for everything.

I love you.