I was standing in the produce section of the grocery store over by the shelf with all the fancy salad dressings. It was a Wednesday afternoon, I had just left work, and I still needed to go home and get ready for church. My jeans were sticking to my legs because it’s Georgia and it’s always hot. My T-shirt had some sort of crayon marks all over it and spaghetti sauce from a child’s hands. My hair sat on top of my head in what was a failed attempt at a “cute” messy bun. And makeup...what makeup? But it happens like this, doesn’t it? You could dress to the nine’s and never see a soul you know but sneak out in some sweats and it’s a high school reunion every single time.

So there I was, and then, there you were.

Right between the red and green apples stood this boy that, at first, I only recognized by the sound of his voice. Your hair was darker and the beard was new. Your eye’s had grown small wrinkles at the ends and your physique had changed a bit. But I would know that voice anywhere. You stood beside a woman who I assumed was your wife. You had a young son in the cart you were pushing. You seemed happy and content. I wanted to look away before you saw me but it was too late. You looked at me and then past me, just like you had done all those years ago.

You’re not my ex or some long lost love.

You were my bully who made my life hell.

And I don’t hate you anymore.

Maybe you didn’t remember me. Maybe you didn’t remember the time you tripped me and made me fall in front of the lunch room. Maybe you didn’t remember all the incredibly rude remarks you made about my weight. You probably wouldn’t recall the number of times I hid in the bathroom stalls at school and waited for the tardy bell so I could avoid running into you in the halls. And I’m sure you wouldn’t remember all those nasty rumors you made up about me after I told you “no.” when it was just the two of us on the bus ride home.

You were so horrible then but I look at you now, a seemingly nice member of society. You might be a different person now. I hope that for you. I hope that you’ve changed as much as I have. Your ugliness use to creep into my nights and give me panic attacks about school. You were the monster under my bed for so long. You caused me to hate my body and be so insecure. But I don’t hate you. Not anymore.

God placed in me a new light. Within that new light was a group of friends who cherished me, parents who adored me, and a young love that grew into a beautiful marriage. I started to see how beautiful I really was and how much I was loved and that these realizations weren’t going away just because you didn’t approve. I sat in a dark room for a long time with the monster under the bed. Then the day came when I realized that some people are cruel to others because they don’t love themselves. Once I turned on the light, the monster was gone.

I wasn’t sure what happened to you after graduation. I hated you for such a long period of time, it became exhausting. Keeping so much anger inside yourself is like drinking poison, hoping it will kill your enemy. You taught me how to forgive. It took a while, but seeing you like this, in this badly lit produce section, reminded me why I forgave you.

Because one day I will be a mother to a little boy or a little girl. One day I will send my child to school with your child. And one day I will teach my child to love your child no matter what they look like, what they wear, or who their parents are.