To The Little Brother I Moved Far Away From

To The Little Brother I Moved Far Away From

I miss you, you little (actually really tall) smart, funny dork.
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To the little brother I ‘left behind:'

Thank you for being my biggest fan and supporting me all the way, even though me leaving was not easy. You let me go, the same way that Mom and Dad did. You could have thrown a fit and tried to chase Ben off, but you aren’t that kind of person. You were and still are super supportive, literally, you are the best brother ever, even to Ben.

I know that I promised you I would be at so many things, especially since it is your senior year. I hate that I am so far away. I wanted to see you off to your first last day of high school, last homecoming, all your FFA stuff especially since you’re the President, prom, heck even your actual graduation. I am going to do everything I possibly can so I don’t miss your party. Heck, I’m going to miss you giving up fair king and your last year showing, most likely your move-in day of college, or even your first day. I am so sorry that I am missing a lot. You know better than I do that this was not how I thought my life would roll.

When we were little, no way either of us thought this would happen. We would get mad at each other and not talk for days, even though we shared a bedroom wall. But no matter what we always have each other’s backs. We drop everything for each other, we really are inseparable.

I am so lucky to have a brother like you. I am so glad that you and Ben get along so well and you include and treat him like he is your brother. It makes me so happy. I know I got ‘taken away’ pretty early and kind of to the extreme. But you don’t hold it against Ben. You never were discouraging or mean, or tried to prevent or throw a wrench in it. You were great through all of it, especially the day I left. You didn’t see it, but leaving town was hard, not going to lie, there were some tears. And I absolutely hated you could not come out here with Mom and Dad to bring me my stuff.

While some of your habits drive me up the wall, I hate that you are not always walking past my bedroom door and usually peeping in to say something, usually extremely random. I hate that I cannot just yell through the wall to tell you something, even the random stuff. I hate that I do not get to tease your during NASCAR races because my drivers are usually better than yours. I miss randomly walking into your room to talk about our days, or to make fun of people. Or you just sitting down on my bed for the fun of it, sometimes we did not even have something to talk about. You give the best advice when it counts, and you can make me laugh until I would tear up. I miss having what we would call 'bro time' to talk about trucks and tractors.

You would drop anything to support me especially with Queen stuff three years ago, and basically everything my senior yearof high school. You would help me with FFA stuff all of the time. Even though you were just a freshman, you knew how it worked. You never complained about helping me. We were always a team. Even though I am your sister, we are bros.

I will always try to find a way to make up for how much I am missing. And trust me, so many things are happening here I wish you could see. A year ago, at this time, both of us figured that you would get married first and for sure you would move out first. While we really missed that one, one thing stayed true. You always wanted to know about that ‘Army guy’ I was always talking to. Well, a year later we are both counting down the days until we get to spend time with you. I wish you could for sure visit soon.

Your senior picture of me and you sit on my desk, right next to Ben’s. I get to see it every day. While it is the only picture of us to exist that I know of, of us hugging, there could not be two sibling’s closer than us. The only way we could be closer is if we actually looked alike!

I cannot wait to see you. Honestly, I cannot wait until you can come here. There are so many things Ben and I want to show you and so many places we want to take you. Until then, you always know that both of us a FaceTime or a phone call away. You know we both always answer.

I only got one little brother, but I got the best one.

Cover Image Credit: EMusselman Photography & Design

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To My Big Sister, You Are Everything I Aspire To Be And More

You are the epitome of everything I want to be.
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You were there for my first steps. you were by side causing havoc. You shared your dolls and now your entire wardrobe, and you always had my back when I got in trouble. You were my first role model and the best first best friend a girl could ask for.

You are my big sister and you are irreplaceable.

There were plenty of times growing up where you irritated the life out of me and not to mention plenty of scars on my body from the cat fights we got into, but no one will ever surpass how much you’ve done for me.

I can’t imagine everything you had to put up with being the first born. I don’t know how hard it must have been to get all the backlash from our parents, being that they were unsure of how to correctly parent with their first child.

I can’t imagine how it must feel to have eyes on you at all times because you’re supposed to be the mature one, the one who is supposed to set a good example.

I still can’t fathom how you constantly look out for me and make sure I don’t make stupid mistakes. Being an older sister has a ton of responsibilities and let me tell you, you are doing it all right.

Thank God I was able to break out of the immaturity and bitterness that my middle school stage put me in, because I was finally able to appreciate all you’ve done for me. You never let anyone mess with me and not even just because you did it best.

No one looks out for me better than you do and I’m not sure how things would’ve played out if I went through the things you helped me get through, alone. Thank God I didn’t have to know.

No one understands me like you do honestly, there is no one else I’m more comfortable letting in like that. You are so compassionate and understanding, not to mention the way you present yourself so authentically and well-rounded is so admirable.

It boggles my mind when you tell me how insecure you can be, I know everyone can be sometimes, but I don’t see any flaws in you. You make me feel so safe and I value your opinion of me so much.

From constantly encouraging me to stick to my goals and work at them with no excuses, no matter how crazy they might seem to reminding me that good things take time so I should never settle for less than I deserve; you’ve made me learn to look at the big picture in every situation.

You are the epitome of everything I want to be, wise, confident, hardworking, real, well respected, fun-loving, passionate, and so much more.

The day I am able to watch you walk down the aisle will be the purest moment in my life. I can’t wait to approve of a man for you that will give my sister the absolute world and more.

I can’t wait to be the best aunt of your children and watch them grow into a spitting image of the incredible person you have become.

You are my rock and I don’t know how you put up with me sometimes but you do. One thing Mommy always reminds us is family before anything. We will never let anyone or anything tear this relationship. We are in this together sis, I love you forever.

Thank you for teaching me to be and that it’s okay not to be okay. Thank you for being a shoulder to lean on and taking me for long drives where we pass the house just to listen to the end to our favorite songs. Thank you for being everything I aspire to be like every single day.

You are my hero.

Cover Image Credit: pexels

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To My First Boy Best Friend, My Older Brother

You may be my older brother, but you were my boy best friend.
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They say we fight like brother and sister, but we are. I never found the right words to tell you, but I'm going to try. Thank you for being my older brother and my first boy best friend.

I miss talking to you on a daily basis, and whatever I did, I'm sorry. You deserve your little sister back, and I deserve my first ever boy best friend. I always saw you as my first boy best friend because you were my big brother. I told you everything.

Thank you so much.

We don't talk anymore. Why? Is it because I am a horrible little sister and everything just went downhill? I do not see you every weekend anymore, why? You were my first best friend, but more than that, you were my first boy best friend.

Sometimes I wonder if I picked up the phone, we could talk. But I don't wanna be the annoying little sister. I'm about to get a full-time job while going to school so I can move.

I hope you know when I move, I won't come back to New York even though you are moving also. I don't wanna be the bad person because I left without telling you.

I never got to tell you, but thank you for saving me from myself and helping me along the way.

You have the best spirit anyone could have, and you get that from your mother. You deserve to have the happiest spirit and to live to get your happiness down the road.

I will always think of you in the morning and before I go to bed because you're my big brother, and I'm happy that you're living your life. I just want you to know that I think about you all the time.

I just want to let you know that you deserve to know where your little sister is taking her life. You were the big brother I've always wanted.

You deserve to know where I'm going in life. I love you big brother.

Cover Image Credit: Heidi Mae Brown

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