You know who you are. You are the one who struggles with living a life like Christ. You are the one who struggles with your relationship with God. Take a breath. It is okay to live an imperfect life. God kind of expects that to happen, which makes him so forgiving of us.
We sin, we have since Adam and Eve. So really there is no escaping it, especially with how our world functions today. Asking for forgiveness and receiving forgiveness is a key aspect of having a relationship with God. He is loving and caring, he will forgive you. Just because you sin does not mean you are automatically damned to hell for all of eternity. I promise.
It's okay to not understand words or verses in the bible, it's okay if you don't even read it every day. You do not always have to open your bible and do a daily devotion to feel like you are talking with God and building a better relationship. If you wish to understand the bible more you can try to look up what you're confused about or try and find a bible that has it in terms you can understand.
Life can get in the way. With work, kids, school, friends, family, and so on. You may not be free to go to church or even have the desire to attend church every Sunday and the world will not explode because of it. You don't need to speak to God through a leader of the church. You can talk to him whenever you want; just pray.
You may also not have a desire to go on mission trips and spread the word of God. Guess what? THAT IS FINE. They are not for everyone. Just remember that you do not have to leave your town to go out and do something positive. There are plenty of ways to contribute and better your community wherever you are. You are still a good Christian if you don't hop on a plane and travel to a third world country.
The relationship that you want to have with God is between you and him. It does not concern the outside world, so don't let it. Don't let someone believe that because you are a Christian you don't drink, party, or have fun. Don't let someone assume things about you because of your faith. You do not need to be perfect to be someone of faith. People of faith do not need to be perfect.
To me at least, that is the point of being a Christian and having faith. I know I am not perfect. But knowing that God loves me regardless and it so forgiving of me is indescribable. To know that it is okay to not be perfect and to mess up.
Just remember that is perfectly okay to be imperfect. Especially as a Christian, because in all reality, there is no such thing as a perfect Christian. We all mess up at some point. Just breathe and know that God forgives and loves you.
Until next time,
Another ADHD Student