As I was driving home from the gym, the song Say Something by A Great Big World started to blast from my speaker. Ironically, it was on the 2000s Smash Hits playlist- and I wouldn't really consider that a "smashing hit", but apparently the music industry can put songs on whatever list that they chose now...(@ Billboard's rock list). I digress, but as I was listening to this song I realized something. I have nobody to "give up on" as I'm not in love, and have not been in quite a long time. Is this a relief? Oh yes. My heart has been so free of the turmoil that is love, but it has been aching for the feeling of being loved. And that is when it struck me: I only have two semesters left of college.

When I was younger, I always thought that I would go to college and meet the love of my life. Well, here we are in my junior year and still very much without the love of my life. It's making me really nervous if we're being honest. I remember in high school thinking to myself "well, at least college will be better", and I was quite wrong. Did I have someone who I thought I loved in High School? Sure. But at the end of the day, we were just two dumb kids who didn't really know what the definition of love was or how to show it to one another. Also, can we just point out that throughout middle and high school, everything was the absolute end of the world? You're really on top of the moon or drowning...24/7. It's straight-up not a good time. If you try to add "love" to that hormonal rollercoaster, you're going to crash.

In college, as each semester goes by, it's another semester where I give up on the childhood dream that I had of being in love. Do I know that God has a fulfilling plan for my life? Yes. Do I believe that He will take care of me? Also yes. However, from my side, I don't see anything happening anytime soon.

Then, I have to pose the question of "How do you meet a man when going into the field of education and where you're surrounded by women all day?" And quite frankly, I do not know the answer to that! They don't teach you that in school. They might throw dating apps at you - but if you know anything about me, you know that those are the absolute worst and I hate them. This idea of falling in love? It's starting to sound more like a distant myth than a reality. I am going to be content in whatever path of life I am in because I know God is pulling all of the strings, but I am about to cut this one off. Sometimes an idea is only an idea, with no foreseeable hope in the future. So, love, I officially surrender.