To the friends I lost along the way,

I remember the long stretch of senior year. We were excited to graduate and begin our summer vacation, but the true thing on our minds was college. We were so excited about the long journey ahead of us. A new place to call home, new people to call family and friends, and a fresh start to claim as ours.

When summer began, it was truly the happiest time of our lives. We knew it would be the last summer with everyone together and we knew we would never get these moments back, so we lived every day like it was the last. I never felt so connected to my hometown before, and I know you felt the same. It wasn't like we were never coming back, but there was something about moving away for eight months that makes you sentimental.

After the most incredible summer with everyone, move-in day arrived. After teary goodbyes and long hugs, we went on our separate ways to begin our own journeys. I still don't think even then we knew that our friendship would soon dissolve. We still kept our snap streaks and commented on each other's Instagram photos and made the occasional facetime, all the things that best friends do. Yet, as the months went on, these actions became less and less frequent. News from school became more difficult and tiring to explain, and we became consumed in social media with all of our new friends. As much as you may want to blame this all on me, you know that you share responsibility here too.

Communication is a two-way street. I know for years I kept the friendship going, and perhaps I should blame myself for that because you didn't know how to keep it up yourself. I quickly made a life for myself at college. I made friends, I got a job, I was busy with my classes and clubs and making my campus my home. I'm sorry if that was more difficult for you to do, and that I was not there to make things better for you. I'm sorry if it was selfish to enjoy my new life from day one, but you were constantly on my mind. No, maybe not everyday, just like I was definitely not always on yours, but you were still my best friend. I pictured us reuniting during Thanksgiving and Christmas break, laughing and reminiscing away just like we had done during the summer. That was clearly not what happened.

I am not quite sure how you are doing or if you ever think of me. I miss you, of course, because years of friendship cannot be forgotten. I am no longer going to accept the entire fault for the relationship that fell apart, and neither should you. I want you to know that it was not easy, but I am learning to be okay with it. I do not know if we will ever be back in each other's lives like we once were. If yes, then I hope we welcome each other with open arms, and if not, then I wish you all the best in life.

Sincerely,

From the friend that you lost too.