To The Girl Who Has Lost Herself

To The Girl Who Has Lost Herself

You can be a work in progress and a masterpiece, all at once.

It's not the way it used to be, is it?

You're not the way you used to be.

Lately, you've started to realize that you don't feel like yourself. You don't laugh quite as loudly. Your smile doesn't reach your eyes as effortlessly. You walk with a shade more of self-awareness, talk with a little less personality. And if someone were to ask you for three adjectives to describe you, the words you'd choose would describe the you of one, two, or three years ago, but not now.

You look at old photographs and wonder where that girl went. The one who everyone expected the best from. The one who was charming and intelligent and full of energy. Lately, you've found that you've let yourself go.

Lately, you've found that while you were in the wash of life, you let it wash over you. Consume you. Dissolve you.

You used to be a light. A light that, at some indiscernible, irreversible moment amidst the chaos of life, burned out. And now that you're just a shadow of who you used to be, it's hard to fight that pervasive ache of disappointment that hovers over you like a ghost, haunting the aftermath of every choice you make and noting, "The old you wouldn't do that."

It's hard to not feel utterly confused about how you ended up here. It's hard to not be ashamed of how you lost control of yourself, let yourself slip through your fingers.

But here's the thing that we're so quick to forget:

It's okay.

It's okay to not be able to fit your entire being into three adjectives. It's okay to not be a finished product. It's okay to love the person you once were—put-together, powerful, seemingly-perfect—and find yourself back at square one. You were bound to change. You are bound to keep changing.

You were never meant to stay in the same place, like the same music, love the same people, have the same goals, believe the same things. Be the same person. You were never meant to be stagnant. This world will not cease to spin on its axis. The cells in your body will not cease to regenerate. And you, too, will not cease to fall apart and fall back into place and grow and go on. You were never meant to be a fixed point in a transient constellation because you are ever-changing.

So don't be shattered or scared by the moments of your day where you don't recognize yourself. Maybe you'll never be who you once were. But that just means you're in the process of becoming someone stronger and brighter and more complex. You are simply building a better version of yourself. And that's okay. You're okay.

You can be a work in progress and a masterpiece, all at once.

I leave you with the understanding that it is normal to lose yourself every now and then, with the faith that you'll find yourself again, and with this:

"For a star to be born

there is one thing that

must happen: a gaseous

nebula must collapse.

So collapse.


This is not your


This is your birth.”

- n.t

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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An Open Letter To The Girl Trying To Get Healthy Again

"I see you eating whatever you want and not exercising" - Pants

Dear girl trying to get back in shape,

I know it's hard. I know the hardest thing you may do all day is walk into the gym. I know how easy it is to want to give up and go eat Chicken McNuggets, but don't do it. I know it feels like you work so hard and get no where. I know how frustrating it is to see that person across the table from you eat a Big Mac every day while you eat your carrots and still be half of your size. I know that awful feeling where you don't want to go to the gym because you know how out of shape you are. Trust me, I know.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Trying To Lose Weight In College

The important thing is you are doing something about it. I'm sure you get mad at yourself for letting your body get this out of shape, but life happens. You have made a huge accomplishment by not having a soda in over a month, and those small changes are huge. I understand how hard it is, I understand how frustrating it is to not see results and I understand why you want to give up. Being healthy and fit takes so much time. As much as I wish you could wake up the day after a good workout with the 6 pack of your dreams, that just isn't the reality. If being healthy was easy, everyone would do it, and it wouldn't feel so good when you got there.

Remember how last January your resolution was to get back in the gym and get healthy again? Think about how incredible you would look right now if you would have stuck with it. The great thing is that you can start any time, and you can prove yourself wrong.

Tired of starting over? Then don't give up.

You are only as strong as your mind. You will get there one day. Just be patient and keep working.

Nothing worth having comes easy. If you want abs more than anything, and one day you woke up with them, it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as watching your body get stronger.

Mental toughness is half the battle. If you think you are strong, and believe you are strong, you will be strong. Soon, when you look back on the struggle and these hard days, you will be so thankful you didn't give up.

Don't forget that weight is just a number. What is really important is how you feel, and that you like how you look. But girl, shout out to you for working on loving your body, because that shit is hard.

To the girl trying to get healthy again, I am so proud of you. It won't be easy, it will take time. But keep working out, eating right, and just be patient. You will be amazed with what your body is capable of doing.

Cover Image Credit: Stock Snap

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Is Your Self Care Killing You?

Let's discuss the firm line between treating yourself and hurting your body.


So let's talk about self-care.

Recently, phrases like "treat yourself," "cheat day, " and the obsession with donuts and other glorified foods have run rampant in our society.

Being in the fitness world, I am quite familiarized with these phrases, but lately, they have been taking over our culture.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for celebrating body positivity, but body positivity and "treat yourself" do not go hand and hand.

Body positivity is loving and accepting your body and not feeling ashamed.

A healthy lifestyle is how self-care should be seen by our culture.

Self-care is not "I just ate four donuts so I'm going to take an aesthetic picture of them and caption it 'treating myself.'"

That is not taking care of yourself.

Self-care, and treating your body, should be seen as feeding your body with foods that will nourish your body and make you feel good.

Food is fuel for your body.

Food is energy.

Food is not something to be idolized if it is not helping your body.

Do you think your friend on Instagram who ate a dozen donuts feels good?

Do you think her body is feeling treated after that?

Do you think your fitness friend feels good after she engorges on that whole large pizza and two pints of ice cream because it's her "cheat day"?


Your girl who ate a whole dozen donuts feels a sugar rush and a major crash afterward, leaving her ineffective to do her job because she needs a nap.

Your fitness friend kills herself at the gym the next day because she feels guilt, bloating, and tired.

The idea of treating yourself is good to an extent.

It's good to feed your cravings.

It is good to eat certain foods in moderation.

Food is necessary, vital, and it is extremely important to fuel our bodies for everyday functions.

But if food is going to steal your focus, if it is going to make you feel horrible, or if it is going to do damage to your insides, do not label it with a societal hashtag that makes you feel better about yourself.

So let's remove the nasty label of treating yourself, and let's love ourselves.

Let's fuel ourselves.

Let's feed our soul.

Let's feed our brain.

Let's feed our muscles.

Because food helps us kick life's butt.

So here's to treating our bodies with nourishing foods, self-love, and acceptance, and yes every now and then, some chocolate.

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