To The Girl Who Feels Alone

To The Girl Who Feels Alone

You’ve been proven right, no matter how strongly you wish to be proven wrong.
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To the girl who wakes up to a blank phone, no texts or notifications welcoming her back. Who leaves a party to sit in the hallway just to see if anyone would notice she’s left.

To the girl who’s surrounded by so many people — by colleagues and professors and strangers on the street — who still feels lost in that sea of people, forgotten, overlooked and ignored.

You may find yourself asking why you put faith in those who end up tossing you aside. “Don’t have such high expectations of people,” your mother says, “they’ll let you down.” You may find yourself thinking how sad it is that those words ring true, that you know deep down people will disappoint you. You may ask why you’re so cynical, why you doubt the friendships you’ve made and the motives of those around you.

Because you’ve been proven right, no matter how strongly you wish to be proven wrong.

To the girl who feels alone, sitting on her bed, her bare nails tapping on lit up keys. Who questions everything, who is skeptical of love, who thinks she will never know true happiness…

Stop. Stop typing. Stop questioning.

Breathe.

Yes, people may disappoint you, yes, you may feel unnoticed and unwanted. But there’s something quite extraordinary about you, the girl who feels alone. You have something no one else has.

You have yourself.

You have a heart that loves and a mind that cares, a hand that gives and arms that embrace.

And that is enough.

I am enough.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf

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One Year Ago Today

A reflection of my last 12 months; dedicated to those who fear change.
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I’ve never been one for goodbyes or any type of major change for the matter. I would have gone to any lengths to avoid it at all costs in order to prevent a sense of loss or discomfort, but you simply cannot go through life fearing something that is eventually imminent. It is for this reason that I’d like to share some learning experiences and significant turning points in my life that have changed me for the best in the last year.

For me, the last couple of months of high school felt like a never-ending cycle of dread and despair. The thought of going away to college was an exciting one. In fact, it was everything I had been dreaming of my whole life. I’d watched movies, read books, and created this idea that living on my own was the peak of youthful exuberance. It turns out I wasn’t completely wrong, but at that time I was not prepared for was the unexpected sadness that came from the notion of leaving those who I cared so deeply for. I am naturally a very emotional person, although this usually comes as a surprise to many, so continuously having to think about departure did not make for the greatest summer. I dwelled on the loss I would feel once I left everyone I knew, and feared that maybe I wouldn’t make it on my own. However, I decided that I would channel this fear and self-doubt into something productive and use it to my advantage.

I was lucky enough to arrive at college having close friends from my high school, but what I realized early on once my fear dissipated was that it was going to be OK. There were so many new people I was yet to meet, and still have yet to meet, but this idea in itself is what makes the future so exciting!

My first two semesters of college have been a time a growth, self-discovery, and self-love. Spending time living on my own has given me time to reflect on the things that I’m passionate about, as well as things that specifically displease me. On the other hand, it's allowed me outgrow many insecurities and let go of self-destructive tendencies that I no longer have a use for. The classes I’ve taken have been a great learning experience for me because I specifically chose subjects that have always interested me and want to further understand. Except for maybe chemistry. Nevertheless, the point is that it feels great to be able to choose myself and for myself, and have confidence that growth can only positively benefit me. College life and living life on your own in general is only what you make of it. I have realized that for the most part, we spend a large portion of our lives focusing on anything but ourselves, and instead seek things that only bring us short-term satisfaction. However, change can be an opportunity to turn things around and do something great.

So looking back at my life, exactly one year ago from today, I can only conclude that change is not to be feared. It’s an unknown entity that perhaps we ought to embrace more, in order to let it shape us into the most authentic version of ourselves. I think that's what being an adult is all about. It's learning new things about yourself that perhaps you didn't already know, and being able to not only accept these things but embrace them as well. Despite the opinions of others. That's not to say that one necessarily has to go away to college to do these things, but at least for me, it's been a new and unique experience.

Cover Image Credit: Averie Woodard on Unsplash

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A Reflection On Valentine's Day

A day to celebrate love? Or singles-awareness day?
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It’s that time of year again, the day everyone dreads the most. No, not tax day, and not finals. Something even worse than a pop-quiz on a reading you haven’t done.

I’m talking about Valentine’s Day.

Here’s the thing: I’m not bitter. Really, I’m not. Just because I’ve never had a reason to celebrate Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean I should despise the day with every fiber of my being. I don’t. I don’t walk around wanting to pop the balloons and spoil the chocolate that’s emphasized by the rose tinted filter that comes with February 14th. I want to celebrate, but I recognize the complexity of my situation as I am, indeed, single.

But Valentine’s Day is about love. It doesn’t, however, specify what kind.

The first theory, the obvious one, is that it’s a celebration of romantic love between two people. It’s the most common interpretation, but the most obvious answer is not always the best answer. Of course, “best” is subjective, but for suspension of belief, let us examine all types of love as equal. If they’re all equally important, then the simultaneous celebration of them on a day of “love” makes sense. See? I do have a point.

The woes of celebrating something you don’t have can be tiring. It’s not the same as going to a wedding when you’re single. A wedding isn’t an empty day just made for greeting cards… well… (that’s a discussion for another time).

Valentine’s Day should have a reimagination so that people can celebrate with their friends! A Pal-entine’s Day! Gather your closest friends and go out for a nice dinner! Or remind them how much you care about them. There is so much overwhelming emphasis put on significant others by advertising and popular media, that friendship has taken a back seat. Well tell your best friend to get in the front seat and speed off to that fancy restaurant or that new movie you’ve been dying to see!

Old or young, make it another day in which you can celebrate your mom! Familial love! Is there ever a point where you should stop telling your mom how much you love her? No! And while this may be an overgeneralization, moms love to be appreciated. They’re people first and foremost, and it always feels great to be appreciated as a person. However for moms, the admiration can mean just that much more. If you live close, go see her, buy her some flowers and maybe a card (yes, they make Valentine’s Day cards for moms!) If you live far, give her a call! Take a half an hour out of another work day to just remind someone who cares loads about you how much you care about her.

Alright, drumroll, this is the one you didn’t see coming. Are you drumming? Duh duh duhdadadadadadadada da da daaaaaa….

SELF LOVE!

Crazy, right? Honestly though, we keep ourselves so incredibly busy that it’s commonplace to not check in with our bodies and with our minds as often as we should. Use Valentine’s Day as an excuse. Take a step back and just spend some time alone. Light some candles if that’s your move, finish that book that’s been staring at you from your bedside table for the last three months… Take yourself out to dinner and a movie! There’s no shame in spending time and money on yourself. You deserve it! You’re the most special someone you’re ever gonna have in your life, so make sure you’re giving yourself enough attention.

Above all, spread some love this Valentine’s Day. The world needs it.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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