I don't know when it started. I can't put my finger on when I started disliking little things about myself. I remember when I was younger, I didn't really care all that much. I didn't care if my forehead looked too big when I put my hair up in a pony tail. I didn't care that you could notice my high hips when I wore tight(er) shirts. I didn't care about any of that.

I won't say that it all changed when I started noticing and liking boys. I know people love to say that girls are constantly trying to impress boys, but that isn't where it started for me. I remember having my first crush and my looks didn't matter to me one bit (dear lord someone take me back to that mindset!!).

So, I don't know where it started. I don't know when I began to not love myself to the fullest extent. I just know it happened and I dealt with it for a long time.

Let me just say, what a constant battle it is to not completely love who you are. It makes your life so much more stressful, as if anyone needs more stress added to their life.

I guess what I'm getting at here is, it's taken me 21 years to start to come to terms with who I am and love myself. I know that for some it comes sooner and for others it comes later.

Life loves to come out of nowhere and make us question our self worth C O N S T A N T L Y. I remember being in high school (a whole whopping 4 years ago, what a baby I still am) and I remember walking down the hallways looking at all the other girls who looked amazing with what seemed like no effort at all (how.. just please explain how). Then there was me who, in my opinion, looked like one of those weird gremlins you see on Harry Potter. A little cuter than that, but a gremlin nonetheless.

I also remember how I always felt like I needed a boyfriend to be okay. Let me just go ahead and say that that is such a lie. If anything, most the guys I dated in high school did not help me feel any better about myself.

I quickly learned that you canNOT find your self worth in a guy. I realize that I am basically preaching to the choir when it comes to that stuff but it's important so deal with it.

Of course this is somewhat of a rant/ramble, but the moral of this is this: learn to love yourself. Let me say that I know first hand how incredibly difficult it can be to love who you are. It has been such a struggle for me and at times it still is. But it gets easier when you surround yourself with those who love you for who you are. Like the ones who think your cheesy jokes are good-a. Get it? Like Gouda cheese? No? Aight.