Anybody find that switch yet? That one that makes it all go away, makes you numb, makes it so that you can't feel that pain in your chest or that weight on your shoulders anymore? Well if you have, let me know how you did it. Or maybe, don't. Everything happens for a reason, right? I don't know about that. But I do know this. It's something I have to remind myself of every once in a while. As much as you want to turn it off, don't. It's not worth it.
It's definitely not as easy as it sounds. Trust me. I've been there, heck I'm still there. I've tried to shut it off. I've wanted nothing more than a blank slate, for those words I didn't want to hear to be erased from my memory. To hit a switch and not feel anymore. To not remember the boy who broke my heart. To forget losing that person who meant so much to me. It sucks. Really. It does. But I hate to break it to you, and to myself, there's no on/off switch that's going to make it all be okay. It's not that simple. If it were, we would all be shells going through motions and not experiencing life. We're all dealing with some sort of emotional turmoil we don't think we can handle, and not feeling would make it so much easier. At least we think it would.
We have all faced situations we wish we could get out of, met "the one" and then discovered that they really weren't, no matter how much you wanted them to be. You may go through what feels like hundreds of heartbreaks, or maybe you`ll only have to deal with a couple, but either way, they`re hard and take a toll on you, and somehow you have to make it through.
How could something that makes you feel like it's the end of the world bring you any closer to the beginning of something great? I haven't figured that part out yet either. I'm still waiting on the hurt to go away and when it starts to lessen its grip on me, something or someone else always seems to comes along and put it right back. I know it`s not just me, that others experience these same feelings and are torn between giving up or pushing through it, but that doesn`t make it easier. If you`re lucky it makes you stronger, ready to face the next challenge.
It hurts, but that's supposed to happen. Life happens. And then we move on, or at least try to, learning from that experience. Now that journey may be long. It may take months, even years, and there's going to be more pain, more loss, more heartbreak, but it's going to be worth it in the end. At least that's what I tell myself. And for now, that's just enough to get me through the day.
The Girl Who's Right There With You Trying To Figure It All Out