I've been told that I'm 'a lot' my whole life. I've been told that I'm over the top, a lot to handle or 'too much'. I've been told I'm a little too ambitious, a little too motivated and have goals that are a little too lofty sometimes. These people don't always come with ill intentions, sometimes they truly mean well. I'm not talking about the concerned parent or the concerned significant other that wants to see you do well and be healthy. I'm talking about the teacher that shot down your hopes of attending law school. I'm talking about the guy you met at the bar that chuckled when you told him you wanted to earn your PhD in global policy, and the friend that told you that maybe you should just stop at your Master's and call it a day. I'm talking about the people that are okay with mediocrity and the people that want to see others be equally as mediocre as they are.
Ladies, in your life time you may have encountered 'that guy'. You know what guy I'm talking about. He's all hopped up on that Ivy League education he's getting (which is great, seriously) but he sticks up his nose to an ambitious woman that might over shadow him some day. He'll berate you, he'll try to shut you down. He'll try to tell you that you won't succeed in a program full of men. He'll try to put all of these thoughts in your head that'll make you think you can't do it. Don't let him. Use men like that as motivation to pursue that Ivy League education. Use them for motivation to get your Master's degree, or your PhD. Use their motivation to keep the fire inside of you burning, but don't ever let them be what extinguishes your internal flame.
If you're a woman of ambition and class, I'm almost certain you've encountered a friend in your life that thinks you need to tone it down a notch. She's probably well meaning, or maybe she isn't. She might tell you that you shouldn't talk about politics so much at the bar because it might scare the guys away. She'll tell you that you shouldn't talk about your ambition to run for Congress because it might emasculate a man, thus scaring him away. She'll probably tell you that your outfit isn't appropriate for drinks, and that your pearls scream 'old lady'. Ladies, wear the damn pearls. Wear the hell out of them. Talk about politics, and talk about your ambitions. The right man, or woman for that matter, will think your intelligence, drive, ambition, and class is the sexiest thing they've ever seen. Be the girl that one man, or woman, has dreamed of their entire life, not the girl that changes herself to fit the altruistic image that a friend or coworker seems to think is what people want to see.
In twenty-two years of living life unapologetically, I have learned one thing. I have learned that the vast majority of the population has no right to make comments on the way you live your life. This is especially true if you're a woman that's pursuing a higher education, or pursuing public office. You are doing more than what most of the population has gutted up to doing. You are making more waves in the existential ocean than you possibly know. All of these people that say you're 'too much', well, perhaps they've never been told that they aren't enough.